The pale-skinned man sprayed his face with metallic paint, and, as the men next to him cheered him on, leapt onto a nearby car in a fiery explosion of stupidity and also fire. The car was perfectly intact, because, obviously it was protected from suicide bombers. It was the President’s fucking car. They thought of shit like suicide bombing road bandits when they built cars for Presidents.
“Dammit!” Martin O’Malley shouted, slamming his fist onto his desk. The sheer force of the impact cratered the desk. “Get me a new desk, this one is wearing out!” Several men rushed in, grabbed the desk, and carried it away from the Campaign HQ control room, hopefully bringing in a new one soon enough.
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I was published a long time back, here you go
by Elly Baker
White powder falls from the sky
Frozen gale travels through the air
Touches your nose
Turns it into a cherry
on top of a milkshake
Feet crunch ice against each step of the stairway
Under the patio
Its roof a shield from wind
In front of you the entrance to your home
Its door a gatekeeper
Your feet on the mat reading “Welcome”
You grip the door handle
frigid against your palm like a can of soda
Warm air brushes your face
You step in.
The artificial fireplace burns
its plastic logs perpetually
Sending waves of heat
Your raw nose stings
and your ears burn
A snowflake dashes in before you close the door
Disappears in a wisp, still floating in the air
Your eyes snap forward
Pine tree, PVC
ornamented with a rainbow of items
you almost laugh
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I ended my tenure on this site about a year ago, so I thought it’d be nice for anyone who happens to stumble onto the site (since it still gets about 3-8 views a day even now) about my current projects. Some of these came around when this blog was still active, and others have just begun:
The Madoka Series, by Thedude3445 – My fan fiction series lampooning the anime Madoka Magica that has gone on much, much longer than I originally anticipated. As of this writing, there are two main stories, a one-shot, and two spinoffs, and they’re all hopefully very funny.
Barty Anderson 4: Tale of the Legend of the Crystal Chubacabra – I directed the Official Fan Sequel to the Barty Anderson Trilogy by Byron Hussie. I put my heart and soul into making it as dumb and unprofessional as possible.
Sandswept: The Squiddle Session – The long-running Unofficial Fan Prequel to Homestuck, wherein we get to watch the forty-eight Squiddle players play Sglub and create the Troll Universe! It’s a labor of love, and is the project I’m most proud of out of all of these.
Visions of Etherflow (old) – An old serial that was a collab between myself and three of my friends. It’s silly and pretty dumb, but hey, you might enjoy it.
Beforus: The Album – I just help out occasionally with this one, but it’s a very cool Homestuck fan project; a music album for the Alpha Trolls.
MSPA Prophet (old) – I Am the Prophet.
And, introducing: Home Clipart Animal Deer – A new site run by my friend and I, where we post stories and other things. It’ll be a lot more professional and less bloggy than this place, though it still has a .wordpress.com right now because we have no idea how to make websites.
Maybe you’ll enjoy one or two of these, I dunno.
As you may have noticed, I have made close to zero posts on this blog this year. My interest in blogging has severely dwindled in the past year or two and rather than leaving this site on an empty note, I decided I would give it a send-off. Obviously, I’m not going to be deleting the site or anything, so everything already on here will stay up, but I won’t be making any new posts. The Backblog is a relic of my high school life, really; I started it a week before I started high school, and it was about the end of high school when I stopped making regular posts. So even if I ever did want to blog again (very unlikely), it wouldn’t feel right to make it on this site.
Thank you for all your support over the past five years, you anonymous readers. It was fun!
Today Robin Williams past away and it’s been so surreal, it felt like it came out of nowhere… A text message from a friend made me aware of the news and frantically I jumped online to see if it was true. Sadly, I found out it was and even more sad, I read of the circumstances. I couldn’t keep reading the stories online for it’s too sad.
At times like this, I get very reflective and being a writer, I guess it’s best to write and what better place but my blog. It’s surreal because I haven’t seen Robin for many years yet in he’s so connected to me due to his close involvement in the biggest role of my career in “Hook” where he played Peter Pan and I played the punk kid who took over as leader of the Lost Boys when he left Neverland… Rufio.
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I posted a new thing on the 365-Story Challenge blog. It’s a new Madoka fan fiction series, only tangentially related to My Big Fat Madoka Wedding.
Read it here if you don’t want to click the above link to read in more detail.