The Evolution Revolution

The Most Disappointing Candy

This is Now & Later, the most disappointing candy of all time. When you first look at it, you think, “Oh boy! It’s a delicious Starburst candy!” You take the wrapper off (if all of the wrapper even comes off. Parts of it usually stick to the candy), take a bite, and break your teeth. This is not a soft, juicy candy; no, this is a flavored rock. You painfully chew for a couple of years before it breaks down to the point where you think you can swallow it without choking out, and then it’s over.

The worst part of Now & Later is not that it is a bad candy, but that it is such a poser Starburst imitator. The creators of this candy must have been really either really low to trick people into thinking they are buying Starbust, or they are huge hipsters and say, “Ha, Starburst? That stuff doesn’t take you an hour to chew. Let’s make a candy that does! Mmmmm, yum! I can taste the broken-off pieces of my teeth!”

Maybe I am over-analyzing this, but I am thinking that it is possible the denture industry is the reason these candies still exist. The FDA should not approve of this stuff being produced, so maybe they get paid a little extra in Sea-Bond bonuses, the candy sells well by accident, the denture industry makes a huge profit, and then everyone is happy. Everyone except for the poor, unfortunate souls that have to eat this candy, that is.

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