Waiting For the Mow
First Short Story Writing Adventure story!
Waiting For the Mow
No I have not actually read Waiting For Godot, as you can tell.
Setting: A bench on a sidewalk in front of a man’s house, with comically tall grass on the lawn behind him.
Ethan is sitting on the bench, staring off into the distance. His neighbor, Ralph, walks up to him.
Ralph: Hey, Ethan, I haven’t seen you in a while!
Ethan: I know. I’ve been inside for the last couple of weeks with a really bad case of the flu. It was terrible.
Ralph: The flu? What’s that?
Ethan: Oh no, it seems that I have been sent off to an alternate universe while I was sick at home! A universe where the flu never existed and where Martians will be able to invade the Earth and not be killed off by germs!
Ralph: I was just kidding.
Ralph: So what brings you to the outside world today, Ethan?
Ethan: Well, I called a lawn service to trim my lawn every Tuesday while I was sick, but they never showed up!
Ralph: So basically you just got ripped off?
Ethan: That’s the odd part. I never even paid them. They weren’t going to accept payment until after the job was done.
Ralph: So what does it really matter that they didn’t come?
Ethan turns his head and looks at the lawn. Ralph turns in response and freaks at seeing the several feet-tall grass.
Ralph: How long were you sick, again?
Ethan: A while.
Ethan: I really need the lawn guys to come, because I have no way to cut grass this tall!
Ralph: You could just like burn it or something.
Ethan: And then the rest of the neighborhood.
Ralph: Good point. But maybe a lawn this out-of-shape has its benefits.
Ethan: Like what?
Ralph: Well, you could finally make that live-action Pikmin adaptation that you’ve always wanted.
Ethan: You’re right. I could!
Ralph: See, a little optimism goes a long way!
Ethan: But the lawn guys are probably coming right now, oh no.
Ralph: Just call them off before they get here. It’s pretty early; they might not have even left yet.
Ethan grabs a cell phone out of his jacket pocket and calls the lawn service. There is no response.
Ethan: They didn’t answer.
Ralph: Call again. They will probably answer.
Ethan calls again. Still no answer.
Ethan: Where are they?
Ralph: Probably on their way. You’ll have to tell them in person.
Ethan: But they’ll charge me a fee!
Ralph: It’s either that, or say goodbye to your Bulborb Dreams.
Ethan: The fee is acceptable…
Ralph: Good. Now let’s wait for them to come.
Silence for a few moments. They look around the neighborhood and at each other at times, until they get bored.
Ethan: When are they going to get here…
Ralph: It’s only been a couple minutes since I even came over here. Be patient!
Ethan: Well, you are not helping pass the time whatsoever, Silent Sam!
Ralph: My name is Ralph.
Ethan: Is it? I didn’t actually know what it was.
Ralph: We’ve been neighbors for seven years, Ethan…
Ethan: Sorry, I’ve been sick!
Ralph: How many neighbors do you even know?
Ethan: I know Maximilian… He’s cool.
Ralph: There is no one in this neighborhood named Maximilian.
Ethan: I know… That plan wasn’t going to work anyway. Even if there was, you would have asked me questions about him, and I would not have known what to say.
Ralph: Then why did you try it in the first place, Ethan? It was a dirty trick.
Ethan: I’m sorry… You’re right.
Ethan begins to sob. Ralph hugs him.
Ralph: There there, it’s okay.
Ethan: I just want some friends…
Ralph: I’ll be your friend.
Ethan: My best friend?
Ethan: It was worth a shot.
Ralph: That it was.
They cease the embrace.
Ethan: You are right though, I am very impatient. I probably should have waited for the phone to ring more than twice when I called the lawn people.
Ralph: You mean you never actually called the lawn people.
Ethan: No… I was impatient!
Ralph: So they are not actually coming?!
Ethan: Oh yes, they are. They called me back the next day when they noticed the missed call. I’m impatient; not stupid!
Ralph: Okay, okay. Good. This is not all just a waste of time, then.
Ethan: And if it is?
Ralph: I dunno. Then this will be a boring waste of time?
Ethan: That’s all?
Ralph: Yeah, did you think I would freak out and do something drastic if this turned out to be a waste of time?
Ralph: Like what?
Ethan: Like… I’m not really sure. I just did. It’s more dramatic that way.
Ralph ponders for a moment, in deep thought.
Ralph: Fine. If this turns out to be a waste of time… I will get an axe out and chase you around the neighborhood. All right?
Ethan: Sounds cool.
They wait once again. Neither speaks.
Ralph: So, why are you so obsessed with Pikmin, anyway?
Ethan: Well my dad Wert was a pretty big fan when he was younger.
Ralph: So you are following in your dad’s footsteps? That’s cool.
Ethan: Yeah. It is.
Ralph: I kind of liked Pikmin back in the day. Pikmin 8: The Return of Olimar was my favorite.
Ethan: Really? The MMO aspects were good, but I didn’t think the main story was as good, at least in that one.
Ralph: Well I was never a big single player girl when I was a kid. Now that I’m a grown man, I probably would like it more. I get all the social activity I want with my kids and their friends’ parents.
Ethan: My dad never let me go outside when I was a kid, so I didn’t really socialize that much.
Ralph: Why not?
Ethan: I’m not really sure why. I was sick for one, but more likely it was because of my other dad, Andrew. Wert never wanted me to meet him for reasons I have never fully explored.
Ralph: That is simply the mystery of parents.
Another moment of silence.
Ethan: So… I don’t think they’re coming.
Ralph: Probably not.
Ethan: Wanna go inside and watch the game?
Ralph: It’d be more exciting than waiting for some mowing service that will never come.
Ethan: If they show up and mow my lawn… Too bad I guess. But I really don’t want to wait any longer. It’s kind of boring.
Ralph: So true.
They go inside Ethan’s house.
A moment after the curtains close.
Ethan: Hey! Watch where you swing that axe!