The Bulbears: Lordess to Nomad (Chapter One)
(Tagged Wert_Ac because I wrote this in honor of him. Also status update on the remaining Short Story Writing Adventure stories; I wrote this instead of them and now the Homestuck Re-Read is taking quite a bit of my time. I will eventually get to them, though! I can’t fall through with something this easy can I :P)
(Credit to fellow IRC member Dr. Monoxide for this beautiful cover)
Editing by Jacob Bartlett
This actually came as a challenge: write a ridiculous story while at Student Life Camp for four days. I pursued this challenge and hopefully succeeded in the ridiculous factor by far.
This is the story of the Bulbear named M’tsargh’i. Born to the royal Lordess Bwo’m’n and her Consort-Meister oRen, the Warrior-Champion of Cycle 311 who was destined to become the next King despite his birth into peasantry, she was very privileged. Powerful Lordesses loathed Bwo’m’n , themselves lusting over oRen and his prowess, and petulantly promised to rid themselves of her once and for all. However, their murderous plans phased out when M’t’sarhgi was born, cementing the union between the Lordess and Warrior-Champion. They would have to find another way to lead his affections astray rather than by simply killing Bwo’m’n.
For you see, the Bublbear Hierarchy as it is known today was not fully established in its social fashions and customs, as it was long before the Bulbax Dynasty held reign over the incomparable dominion that it does now. Each species of Bulborb had its own independent form of structure, and the one unique to the Bulbear Hierarchy was that of the hunter-gatherer. The females took care of the young while the males took a nocturnal stance at predatorship, prowling the night in search of food for those back at home. Each union of a male and female of the species was highly regarded once their offspring were produced, and the bonds could then only be broken by a Covenant-Castration, which was a messy ordeal that was not fitting for a life so regal as a Bulbear’s.
There was no code of laws or set of written rituals in place in the Bulbear Hierarchy, other than the chain of command in the ranks of each of the two sexes. Males were determined entirely by their militarial stature, in a somewhat organized system from the foot-hunters to the King himself. This allowed for actual strategic input when the Bulbears clashed with the other races, as they did not have any sort of tangible military force, leading to the Bulbear Hierarchy’s spot as the most fearsome of the Genus. Females has a complex social structure riddled with deceit, lust, selfish desire, and double-sided natures. The Lordesses were the monarchial rulers of each district of territory in the land, and becoming one took excessive wit and cunning treachery. There was no order of advancement when a Lordess passed on except who was able to win her piror favor, as biological inheritance was frowned upon, so those under her constantly dueled for her affections. It was such a divisive game of fates that the sexes almost acted independently in life; their only real interactions were for the purposes of food, mating, and gaining territory, though having a prominent Consort-Meister was essential to create a desirable offspring that could carry on the Bulbear’s legacy.
Both sexes were utterly obsessed with how they would be remembered during this time. Each cycle, one warrior would be crowned champion for his superior efforts, and at the passing of the king, each surviving Warrior-Champion would battle to the ends of their existences to usurp control for themselves, and to hopefully win a Lordess as their Consort-Meister once they became one. oRen, a spectacular and amazing warrior in all respects, managed to accomplish the latter benefit without even yet becoming a king. That was simply how strong he was a Bulbear.
More powerful Consort-Meisters also meant more territory to carve out for the Lordess, and the competition between the Lordesses for territory is what led the four Lordesses oNixe, L-Mitsh, Lexicln, and urasaru to formulate their devious plot to overthrow Bwo’m’n.
Two cycles after M’tsarhg’i was conceived and thrust into the world, she was already showing the prodigious skills that were also possessed within her father. This made her a hot-tempered and fierce Bulbear, which was most unbecoming of a female of the species, and scared away many comrades of a like age. Bwo’m’n tried to the utmost extent to convert her daughter to the mindset of a future Lordess, but her intense and brash personality rejected the very notion of it. Her stays with the Lordess L-Mitsh did not help either; this Lordess knew all too well of the dilemma and actually encouraged the young girl to behave in this manner. M’tsargh’i would get in fights with Bulbear boys almost every day, and when Bwo’m’n was forced to apologize for it, L-Mitsh pretended to be enraged, knowing that Bwo’m’n was trying her hardest to help her daughter become a Lordess like her.
One day, after a particularly rough duel between M’tsarhg’i and a Bulbear girl that pushed her, Bwo’m’n became fed up with the tenacity of this girl of hers.
I have grown weary,
As your games have grown quite old,
And you still keep on.
She continued her angered rant.
I hear you say much
You want to be a fighter?
Then go and do so.
Bwo’m’n had given into M’tsarghi’i’s demands. If she wanted to become a warrior, if she wanted to go down the path of life as an unruly boy, then so be it. She led her to oRen and said:
You will keep her now,
She desires to war, fight,
I cannot love that.
This passing of a child from mother to father for keepsake was done only at the event of a Covenant-Castration, and though this was not Bwo’m’n’s intention, it meant that her union with oRen was finished. And thus the Lordesses completed their plan.
oRen rescinded his military power from Bwo’m’n’s district and took the other six children that she had birthed as well. This Covenant-Castration was so devastating to Bwo’m’n that she perished from grief not half a cycle later with no chosen heir to be her successor.