The Evolution Revolution

First Debate

First Debate


Primed to go in his teal suit, which he bought especially for this very occasion, Mitt Romney was finally about to embark upon his very first date. There were, of course, other boys in the past, but none of them serious enough to actually be considered a boyfriend. He was the first one to ever ask him out, and he was so excited. He had only just put on the finishing touches of his luscious salt & pepper hair when he heard a knocking at the door, and rushed down the stairs to answer it.
To his delight, it was exactly who he thought it would be. Barack Obama was suited up in the finest dress clothes he could scrounge up, which admittedly wasn’t much, but Mitt still thought the red striped polo was cute on him, with his tiny stature and long hazel hair.
“Time to go already?” He asked. “I wasn’t quite ready, Obahmus. Uhh… Wanna come inside for a minute?”
Obama seemed pretty nervous about this. It was his first date too, if he recalled correctly, which was weird because he could have sworn he has something of a loving husband reputation among his circle of friends. “I don’t know….” he seemed a bit antsy, though not too much. He was about to keep at least some of his cool. “The movie starts in about 15 minutes. We’ll miss it if we don’t hurry.”
“Well, I need to finish putting on my makeup. It’ll just be a couple minutes; 5 at the most.”
“Oh come on, Mittens. You look beautiful already. You don’t need any of that stuff.” Mitt blushed. That was so sweet. And he even meant it entirely sincerely, as he began pulling his arm towards his car.
Obama was right about the movie though. All their preparation to dress fancy for a silly movie would have gone to waste if they missed the movie! He hopped in the shotgun seat of his 2013 Dodge Durango and the two of them drove off towards Denver, Colorado, and to the movie theater.
As Obama turned on Stars & Stripes Forever and began to jam out to its “sick beats”, Mitt began pondering. How had the two of them ended up in such a position? It seemed like only a few months ago that they were almost constantly at odds.
Obama was the President of the United States of America, and while Mitt respected him for that, he always picked on him, acting as silly as he could just to make him angry; he was definitely the cutest when he was angry, though he usually also cussed him out. He never thought that this mild passive-aggressive friendship could evolve into an actual relationship. But somehow it did.
They arrived at the UA Colorado Center Stadium 9 & IMAX a few minutes later, and hurried out of the car and into the theater, so they could have enough time before the movie to grab a popcorn and a drink.

With not a moment to spare, Obama and Mitt sat down in the top row, put their 3D glasses on, and began watching Dredd 3D. It had received very negative reviews, but both of them were able to appreciate the value of a rotten action movie; to entertain and no more. And that it did. There were more guns fired in the movie than in the entirety of the Invasion of Grenada, which was all that really mattered.
During one scene, somewhere close to the climax, Obama and Mitt, having finished devouring their bucket of popcorn, began to hold hands. His hand was about the same size as his, and it was really warm. His heart started beating faster and faster just thinking about the fact that he was holding hands with the boy of his dreams. He was actually doing it.
Mitt turned his head a bit to look at Obama and his gorgeous eyes, but was met with something certainly unexpected. His lips. It was only a kiss on the cheek, but it felt like Heaven to his. His lips were as soft as cotton; like nothing he had ever felt before.
He returned the kiss, this time on his gigantic ear. Though only for a few seconds, their embrace of love lasted a lifetime for the both of them. The movie stopped mattering. For the rest of the film’s running time, they sat in their seats holding hands. Mitt was basically in a daze after the kiss- the most exhilarating thing he had ever felt.
Though this was only their first date, he already knew that Obama was “The One”. The election was in a few weeks, and it just so happened that Obama was now in the 3rd year in office. This was going to be the best month of his career.

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