The Evolution Revolution

Archive for the month “November, 2015”

[Election ‘016 018] O’No!

Home Clipart Animal Deer




“Witness me!”

“Witness him!”

The pale-skinned man sprayed his face with metallic paint, and, as the men next to him cheered him on, leapt onto a nearby car in a fiery explosion of stupidity and also fire. The car was perfectly intact, because, obviously it was protected from suicide bombers. It was the President’s fucking car. They thought of shit like suicide bombing road bandits when they built cars for Presidents.

“Dammit!” Martin O’Malley shouted, slamming his fist onto his desk. The sheer force of the impact cratered the desk. “Get me a new desk, this one is wearing out!” Several men rushed in, grabbed the desk, and carried it away from the Campaign HQ control room, hopefully bringing in a new one soon enough.

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Home for Christmas

I was published a long time back, here you go

Slink Chunk Press

by Elly Baker

White powder falls from the sky

Frozen gale travels through the air

Touches your nose

Turns it into a cherry

on top of a milkshake

Almost there

Feet crunch ice against each step of the stairway

Under the patio

Its roof a shield from wind

In front of you the entrance to your home

Its door a gatekeeper

Deep breaths

Your feet on the mat reading “Welcome”

You grip the door handle

frigid against your palm like a can of soda

Wood creaks

Warm air brushes your face

You step in.

The artificial fireplace burns

its plastic logs perpetually

Sending waves of heat

Your raw nose stings

and your ears burn

A snowflake dashes in before you close the door

Disappears in a wisp, still floating in the air

Your eyes snap forward

Pine tree, PVC

ornamented with a rainbow of items

you almost laugh

Black leather…

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