The Evolution Revolution

Archive for the tag “transportation”

Slender’s Game

Originally written for a Halloween Special; now available in much-improved status here on the Backblog!

Slender’s Game

By Thedude3445

Slenderman woke to a start. What a nightmare!

It was a horrible slumber, this past night was. Dreams of dead children, bones scattered across the landscape, and the rotting carcasses on the ground, their faces withered to dust—it all felt so real. Slenderman did kidnap young children at one time, but that was in the past, and he never did anything like what was in his dream!

“Slenda, wake up,” Slenderman nudged his wife, who was still peacefully resting away. Agh, dammit. His head was pulsing violently. It was so hard to focus…

“What is it?” Slenda asked, barely conscious.

“I had the worst dream. It was… horrifying.”

“Well, it is Halloween today. Maybe it’s some sort of psychological thing.”

“Yeah, but Halloween is my FAVORITE holiday! Why would it cause me to dream such unspeakable things?!”

“Honey, you need a cup of coffee. Here, I’ll go get it for you, Slenderman. It’s time for me to get up and get Slendy ready for school anyway.”

“Thanks.” But Slenderman knew the coffee wouldn’t help. This was going to stick with him like a tentacle to a tall guy. It was so gruesome, so despicab-

He figured it out. It was a premonition! Oh no—all that stuff he saw in his dream was… really gonna happen!! His suit already on, Slenderman hopped out of bed and dashed down the stairs with extreme haste.

“Hey!” Slenda shouted as he opened the door. “Didn’t you want some coffee?”

“No time! I have to warn the President!” And with that, Slenderman was gone.





Slenderman ran as fast as he could in the 3 hours since he left his house in Charleston, but he had to parkour over some very heavy traffic on the way, slowing him down quite significantly. But now that he finally reached our nation’s capital, his frenzied sprint had finally caught up with him. He was exhausted. Even with the White House just in front of him, it was too much. His quest…. Was….

Slam! Slenderman passed out on the cold ground of Washington, D.C.




Where am I? Am I… asleep? Oh goodness, I’m asleep! I’m asleep! Not again!

“Do not concern yourself with having another one of those dreams, Slenderman. I will see to it that you never experience one again.”

Who are you? Why can’t I see anything?

“You are in my domain now. I can unleash whatever horrors I wish upon you. But I do not.”

I don’t understand.

“Of course you don’t, my dear Slenderman. You simply cannot fathom the true nature of your own power, much less my own, perhaps due to your… human origins.”

!!! How did you—

“Maybe you ought to see one of my faces. The one that you are able to comprehend without going mad… at least, completely mad.

And then he revealed himself. It was a grotesque and monstrous face, green with tentacles squirming all over from where his mouth should have been. His eyes could pierce souls.


“Correct, Slenderman. I am who I am. And who I am is the Lord of All Terror, of which you could not hope to understand.”

Maybe you underestimate how scary I can be.

“No, I don’t. You are certainly creepy at times, I will give you that, but if my night gaze was enough to penetrate your deepest fears, then you are surely not scary. Not even close.

Why not just kill me now, Cthulhu?

“I want to offer you a challenge, to see you suffer more and more before your final demise. If you can defeat me in the next 60 minutes after you awaken, I will leave you and the rest of your kind alone. This is something you cannot refuse, I know this.”

I will definitely not refuse it. You’re on.

“I will enjoy every moment that I can further decimate what little soul you have left, before I finally devour it. This hour shall be my most exciting in millennia.”

“Don’t disappoint.”




Slenderman woke to a start once again, this time for a much different reason. As he sprang up and hopped over the fence towards the White House, he knew that time was of the essence. He couldn’t even stop for security checks, despite the Secret Service’s shooting at him.

“Sorry! There’s no time!” he told them as he sped by. Their shouts were many, and their bullets were even more, but none came even close to hitting Slenderman.

Finally, he entered the oval office, and, panting, turned to warn President Barack Obama (or Mitt Romney, depending on who when you read this and depending on who ends up winning the election).

“President Obama [Romney]!” Slenderman began. “You need to leave, right now! Cthulhu is coming!”

But there was no response. Obama [Romney] simply stared, his eyes widening and hands twitching. When he spoke, all that came out was, “Ugthologleonekthoggguueeeee” and his body began to disentigrate. Piece by piece, the President disappeared, leaving behind only his blood, which flowed plentifully across the carpet. The desk transformed into all the souls that Slenderman had ever haunted, and engulfed the tall man completely.

His tie began to squirm around as it transformed into an infant’s head and roared. It stared straight at you, and its beady eyes reminded you of the first time you saw a dead animal, welcoming you to your new home inside its mind. How are you, by the way?

V┬╡ë/≤╔’▒²W•»•o☼@ΩMx+Θß═╥┘ÿ♀+ê«¡ü:╘Be┤|Ω¡v₧i)┴. ╫H►▀╤♥Q»•☼o. ♦║·ü©%☻§▬↔=N(♥▬Yòå.■↔R┘∟↨A&[X♦▀ε╠◘▬áµ`[ÖÜÜÜ○♣○r└↔○+╤ ü:╘B•o☼@ΩMxe+Θß┤|Ω

A million ar▌ms reached out from t¡he walls of the Oval Ofƒice, grabbing each and every one of his appendages, pulling them as hard as they could in every direction. I☻÷t was more pain than Slen∩derman had fel◙t in a lon◙g long time, √and was stretching him to new levels of height.

Slenderman began to grow


on his neck. Out of the flesh on its head, a nose burst forth,

a dark olive color,

and with a putrid odor.

This nose

grew and grew, until it sprouted eyes, and a mouth, and a nose of its own and a tail to match its splendor.


There were no teeth in its mouth; those made a ring around the nose in the shape of a smiley face, winking at Slenderman in

his gross horror.

The nose exploded, sending Slenderman back in time, repeating the moments of the President’s death over and over again for the next eight minutes. Before it could drive him completely insane, our hero whipped his tentacles in a fury and defeated these cursed souls that had been attacking him.

Slenderman was barely able to break free of the cursed swarm, and now he could only watch as the White House rotted before his very visual receptors, where his eyes should have been. Mold sprang up around him almost instantly, and in the sky formed the being known none other than…. Cthulhu.

“I see your sanity is still palatable. And I am famished.”

“You won’t be getting any of this. Not today, not ever.”

Slenderman launched into the sky and swung all of his arms at the beast in rapid succession, each blow pushing the monster further towards the ground. Cthulhu shot back with his own face tentacles, grabbing our hero and bringing him in for the final feast. When all seemed lost, Slenderman executed his secret move: the EMP!

The EMP, or electromagnetic pulse, normally wouldn’t affect non-electric beings, but Cthulhu was a special case, being the Dark Lord of All That is Horrible. Slenderman took advantage of Cthulhu’s peculiar situation and blasted him with anti-electric waves, sending the beast crashing on the ground where the White House used to be.

“Ah, so you think you can stun me with a little static?” Cthulhu seemed undaunted, despite his plummet onto the ground. He stood himself back up, and flexed a hand. Chunks of ground began levitating into the air and spiraling around the dark monster, and then closed around him, creating a gigantic shield of dirt.

Slenderman pulsed and pulsed as hard as he could, but it was no use. The orb surrounding the fiend was too thick for his electric attacks to pierce. And no amount of physical force could destroy the barrier, either. As soon as he could land a strong enough punch to make a sizeable dent, Cthulhu was able to summon the dirt back and reform his sphere of invulnerability. It was useless, as long as he stayed dormant like this.

So instead of attacking, Slenderman waited. And waited. A silence resounded over this battlefield, where the White House once stood in its stately manner. A tumbleweed passed by. This standoff lasted several minutes, before Cthulhu’s shield began to crumble. He was ready to make an attack. But he wasn’t ready enough. Slenderman jumped into the sky and blasted him with an EMP using every single bit of his power. He held nothing back in this final blast, and it knocked Cthulhu completely unconscious.

Slenderman fell as well, but hit the ground running. He uppercutted his fallen foe with grace. Then came a headbutt. Then a high-kick. Then, finally, he finished Cthulhu off with another EMP blast, sending him skyrocketing into space.


It was done.




Back in Charleston, the Slender Family celebrated the victory over Cthulhu with a hearty cake. It had strawberry icing, custard filling, and just a hint of bonemeal flavoring. To top it off, there were some Reese’s peanut butter cup-flavored cupcakes along with it. All of this was served with some good old-fashioned Sweet Tea, just like his mom used to make.

“You were soooooooo cool out there, Dad!” Slendy shouted with admiration. The little kid was so proud, and Slenderman would have given his biggest grin, if it was physically possible for him to do so.

“I was just doing the right thing,” he told his child. “Maybe one day you’ll get to do something just as heroic.”

“Oh yeah, cooooool!” Slendy began jumping around, reenacting the battle at the White House with a rambunctious flair.

“Now now,” Slenda scolded, playfully. “Don’t be giving Slendy all these grandiose ideas. Slendy’s still got to go to school; no real hero would skip school, because learning is knowing, and knowing is 75% of the battle!”

Suddenly, the phone began to blare. “Honey,” Slenda told her husband. “it’s for you.”

He picked up. “Who is this?”

“This is President Biden [Ryan]. Thank you for defeating Cthulhu.”

“You’re welcome. Any time.”

“I would like to inquire you about your services on another task. It would only be for a few days, and the pay is good. You are the first person I have called about this.”

“What is it?”

       “We’re not sure yet. But the project is codenamed….. Tumblr.”

No Christmas Crossover Adventure (yet)

I had a long discussion with Ktalaki last night about the Christmas Crossover Adventure. The story is still on, but he would prefer I wait to post it anywhere online until he revises RRUS, one of the main stories that this is framed around. And I myself should probably finish more of the stories that I am crossing over, considering only about half of the characters in the story actually appear on stories in the Backblog. So, even though I have already written much of the Christmas Crossover Adventure already, I have made the decision to hold it off, presumably until next Christmas.


Instead of CCA, I will publish something completely different, though also a Christmas special. Stay tuned.

Christmas Crossover Adventure – Begins December 22

Ugh. I had planned for so long to release it today, but I have not been able to access Google Drive all day, so I can’t get Chapter 1 to put it on here. This means that tomorrow, I will upload it, no matter even if I have to type it on Word and do it that way instead. But it’s gonna be awesome, don’t worry.

SBURB OST (Homestuck Fan Album)

SBURB OST cover art


Look at this! In development since July 2011, SBURB OST is the biggest Homestuck Fan Project so far; over 55 tracks by around a dozen musicians, all for free! It’s also some really great music. Download it. Because you should. Every one of you.

Listen to it here (donwload is only on , not on the bandcamp website):


Instant Consequence: A Short Tale by Thedude3445

(Kind of just wrote this in a couple minutes on some note cards. I just wanted to make a piece of fiction of any sort that is under the same name as my amazing song (


Instant Consequence

A Short Tale by Thedude3445

Mumford & Sons blasted through the small speakers of the alarm clock, and Vriska Serket woke up on the floor of her bedroom, apparently having tumbled off of her bed in her slumber. Her groggy eyes slowly began opening themselves, despite her best efforts to prevent it.

Ugh, morning already?

She had been dreaming such a fun dream; life felt dreary compared to the blissful Alternian moons of her subconscious. What good was life, anyway, when the best part of the day was the time when you weren’t even awake?
Nevertheless, Vriska sat up and stretched her arms. A yawn came out of her mouth. Finally, she punched her alarm clock and silenced Mr. Mumford for good. Or at least until tomorrow morning. What a nice man. Always timely.
Scratching her butt, she looked around her disorderly room. The one office chair was propped against the door, done so in the hope that it would block her younger brother from barging in and stealing her CDs while she slept, something that seemed to have not been successful anyway, as there were discs scattered all over the floor, and several of the best Slipknot albums were missing completely.
The desk itself was covered in a black-and-white mess of her unfinished homework assignments, many of which were already late or due today. Ignoring that, Vriska gazed up at her wall, with the many pictures nailed to it. The beautiful eyes of Skrillex looked down on her in poster form, making Vriska feel completely at ease.
Finally, she spotted the items of her desire; some dirty clothes strewn across the floor on in one corner that she could pick up and wear to class. Vriska knew she needed to do her laundry, but there were more important things to do during the day. Honestly, she didn’t really even care that much how unclean her outfits were at this point.
Getting ready was her number one priority at the moment. In said bathroom, Vriska was able to secure a toothbrush for dental hygiene, and a brush to tame her wild hair, apparently possessed by a demon over the course of the night, by the way it looked now.
Even so, she looked into the mirror and stared into the the face that appeared. It stared back.
I am so beautiful.
Vriska was going to make the most out of this day no matter what anybody else thought or did. She was going to make it awesome.


(Anyway, you are going to like a few upcoming posts of mine. A comic review or two maybe, and an overview of my homecoming week costumes. I may review Super Mario 3D Land as well, and I could post a story or two….. maybe.)



Star Wars: Dark Redemption

Back in 8th grade, I legitimately wanted to write a Star Wars novel so bad that I actually started doing it. I developed an extremely convoluted series of ideas into a gigantic folder full of them, and began working on Dark Redemption, which was supposed to be an adaptation of some cancelled toy line in the 80s along with the Battle of Coruscant, which I didn’t realize was adapted in one of the X-Wing novels already (I think).

Well, here is all I actually wrote, despite my year+ of planning it:


Space. The final most hideously boring frontier any one man could ever explore. Especially for a guy like him. In his opinion, it was a place for battles, extra area to build in, and crime. Nothing else. Especially, of course, the reason that Admiral Luke Vanda was stationed in the endless vacuum, watching a patroller Star Destroyer sail along at a slow pace. An entire mega-armada of Star Destroyers, cruisers, and frigates, including the Super Star Destroyer Excecutor, the Star Destroyer on which he was sitting at the moment, was assembled above the Sanctuary Moon apparently to protect the newest Death Star from a surprise attack by the Rebel Alliance. But it was not like something like that would be attempted a second time. What he was doing now was pretending to listen to a conference by Admiral Piett about Star Destroyer safety, things about escape pods being installed right and things like that. That and being crowded around many other admirals stationed at Endor who were listening to the speech were the two things that he loathed the most when they were together.
He wouldn’t even mention something like that out loud, not to the most trusted ally. For both Darth Vader–who can use the force to choke you to death–and Emperor Palpatine–who has infinite influential power, even once banishing a wealthy family from the Core Worlds just for crashing into a building he liked–were stationed on the nearly completed death machine and were quite upset about the lack of progress in the space station’s construction. Vanda was partially glad that he was only a lesser-known admiral in the Imperial fleet, not someone as high up as his current superior, Admrial Firmus Piett of Vader’s own Death Squadron. That man was sitting on a timed bomb as long as he commanded the Ex-
That reminded Vanda. While he was gazing off into space, he had stopped listening to Piett’s monologue about the “need of increased security”, or something like that. That man wasn’t even as old as the amount of time that Luke had been an officer! Maybe that was an exaggeration… But even so, this entire seminar would be recorded and sent to each Destroyers’ crews, so there was no point in paying any real attention. Their gathering compromised the security of the other Destroyers as is… -Agh! He needed to start focusing before somebody noticed his dazing and scolded him for an hour because of it.
“-There is in no way,” Piett was saying when Luke tuned in, “however unlikely it may seem, to get the main crew into the escape pods without any chaos. Thank you for your time, Admirals. Now, each of you must return to your Destroyers now, and ready yourselves for battle. And be hasty about it, please; we haven’t much time to spare anymore.” With that, Luke stood up and started stretching, as with most of the other sitting officers. As he glanced at Admiral Piett, he noticed that a captain he had not seen before was beginning to report something to the commander of the Executor. Vanda began to walk towards the exit more slowly. He definitely wanted to find out what the conversation was.
The captain saluted, and then spoke, “Captain Sarkli Piett, junior, reporting .” Piett gave an at-ease sort of look to Sarkli, and then replied to him.
“Yes. Assemble your squads to guard the shield generator bunker,” the admiral said, “but from a kilometer or more away from it. These are direct orders from the Emperor, you know.”
Sarkli nodded, and the conversation became much more casual, and much more uninteresting. However, the thought of the Emperor himself ordering ground forces on Endor to assemble was very disturbing. What was more disturbing was that when he opened the door to leave, Darth Vader was directly in front of him, just about to come into the control room. Vader’s suit of armor frightened most just on regular sight, and seeing it unexpectedly made Vanda jump in shock.
Strangely, the Dark Lord of the Sith did not pay any attention to him at all, and simply passed by. The last thing that Vanda heard from the command bridge was an officer shouting that a shuttle had come into realspace near the Excecutor, and that it was the Tydirium, which hadn’t reported back to any base in quite a while, or so he’d been told. It made him wonder very much about what he and most likely many of the other main officers at Endor were being left in the dark about…

“Look, a TIE Shuttle , coming up,” one pilot yelled out. How men like these novices ended up as wingmates to him, was a wonder. Gorn had been the leader of the top-rated Blade Squadron for two years, but was recently transferred to a backwater “Black Squadron” because Admiral Luke Vanda requested Gorn come with him when he himself was transferred from the famous Naval Heir to the “shiny-new” Imperial III-Class Star Destroyer Green Blade . Why Vanda accepted such a ludicrous offer was definitely beyond Gorn. Nevertheless, pilots are mere privates in the battle to defeat the Rebellion, and even elites like Soontir Fel had minimal influence within the Imperial Navy. It was theirs as a duty to follow orders, and blast the enemy, whoever that may be, until the battle is over.
Like the novice pilot had shouted, a TIE Shuttle had entered the hangar bay, and was landing. Gorn was sure that Vanda was inside, so he and a couple of others opened the door and walked down the stairs into the hangar bay to greet the admiral. The group stood in attention, creating two parallel lines from where the passenger hatch was located, while Gorn stood alone in front of the hatch. Very few men greeted the arrival of Vanda besides Black Squadron, which disgusted him. At least his men stood to honor their own commanding officer, unlike those other idiots.
Stepping out of the shuttle with a certain excitement, the admiral shook his hand with Gorn and said, “Boys, get in your ships. We’re going to battle!” The smirk on his face didn’t fade at all as he continued. “What else, is that the Green Blade will be leading in the attack!”
At this point, Captain Jorj Guston, Vanda’s unofficial aide, stepped off the shuttle with his blunt face. Vanda glanced at the man, and then turned his head back towards the shocked pilots. One of them, which Gorn knew as Durr Gjoiy, Black Four, actually spoke.
“Ss….Sir,” He asked, “Why would you be excited about a suicide mission on the front lines?!”
Inevitably, Vanda’s smirk did fade after the question. He turned right back into a stereotypical naval officer, as he spouted out his orders of, “Attention! Ready your stations and move up the fleet! That is an order!” The two lines of men turned into a scrambled pile of rushed men getting equipment, officers rushing to their posts, and pilots trying to run to their TIEs while attaching their helmets, all while Vanda regained his smirk and paced out of the hangar. Gorn leisurely power-walked towards his TIE Interceptor and climbed in. It would be a moment before they were actually launched, so he put his helmet on after he was inside the cockpit.
Gorn booted up the Interceptor, and checked the systems, and watched as the view from the hangar changed from dozens of Star Destroyers and frigates to the Death Star and the moon of Endor below it. But something was definitely out of place, and that was the gigantic Rebel Alliance fleet. Not nearly as big as the Imperial Fleet, but these guys put up much more of a fight. It was good for the Empire that they probably expected a fight like the one on the last Death Star about four and a half years before, where the starfighter squadrons could simply blast their way to the station and blow it up from the inside. The shield generator was still up, and it seemed that the about fifty starfighters were zooming towards doom. Wait-
The entire Rebel Fleet curved their route, like they were reading his mind. Almost instantly after that, the hangar’s siren blared. Time to engage the enemy. His TIE lifted off the deck and blasted towards the several X-Wings in the front of the battle.
Black Squadron had reported in, and now Gorn and his nine co-pilots fired their lasers with no accuracy, simply hoping that some would impact. Only about three enemy fighters were gone by the time Black Squadron swooped to make their second pass. So were four of theirs. That was the price of victory, he assumed that his Admiral would say.
Even in space, Gorn could surely hear the blazing chaos and explosions happening around his TIE. Four all-new B-Wing starfighters almost grazed the right wing of it as they headed towards a Tector-Class Star Destroyer .
Black Two shouted to Gorn over comlink. “Black Leader! Blacks Six and Five are preparing to bomb the Redemption. Permission to make a pass ?” Gorn replied something along the lines of “granted,” but he could not remember specifically what it was, because he was focusing at an A-Wing that was dogfighting with him very intensely. At this , he broke off from the fight and headed towards the medical frigate. The TIE Bombers attacked, unleashing a dozen proton bombs onto the vessel. But two particularly fierce ships, the Millennium Falcon and an X-wing, blasted on the scene and destroyed them both, along with another one of his Interceptor co-pilots. That made for he and two other TIEs left in Black Squadron, all three starfighters being pursued by the Millennium Falcon.
They swerved and looped around the Redemption, blasting away at each other, but after only a few seconds, Black Three was gone, and Black Eight had broken off to join another squadron, leaving Gorn alone, who was scoring almost no hits against any starfighter out there! Extremely suddenly, the Death Star’s superlaser roared up and blasted a Mon Calamari vessel. The explosion was bright enough that it stunned him for a moment. The blinding lights went away for just long enough to see the collision between him and a B-Wing starfighter. He did his duty, and death was his just reward, obviously.
Did the losers of the war always die? Did the Empire ever lose like this? It was too late to answer anything now, because everything faded to black as his Interceptor spiraled out of control.

The rest is on this outline:

Dark Redemption


-Admiral Luke Vanda: He brings Captain Sarkli Piett to his uncle, Great-Admiral Firmus Piett. Firmus tells Sarkli some orders from the Emperor and then orders Vanda to go back to the Star Destroyer Green Blade, and ready the ship’s defenses/TIEs. As he is leaving, he hears Piett talking to the pilots of the shuttle Tydirium.

-Gorn: Admiral Vanda arrives on the Green Blade in a TIE Shuttle, along with bounty hunter Jodo Kast. The men on the Star Destroyer are pretty casual until Vanda arrives and gives
Orders to the pilots, for all men to battle stations. Gorn gets in his TIE Interceptor and his squad of 7 other TIES (3 regular TIEs, 2 TIE Bombers, and Gorn’s Interceptor plus another Interceptor manned by Grom Farlander), and they launch and strike right into the recently-arrived Rebel Fleets. He battles a whole bunch, slowly losing some of his men until the squad starts attacking the Medical Frigate Redemption. Lando Calrissian and the Millennium Falcon see this, and Lando begins to attack them until Gorn is the only man left. His TIE is damaged, so he lands on a nearby Star Destroyer to get some repairs. To his surprise, Admiral Vanda is there, and there are many other pilots whose TIEs weren’t damaged that were called back. Vanda can feel that the battle is being lost, so he gives out TIE Defenders to all of the pilots in hopes that it would help turn the tide of the battle. Gorn starts shooting down tons of ships with it, but he notices many ships going towards the Death Star, and he pursues, shooting down some of those that were going towards the entrance to the core. Suddenly, the Excecutor crashes onto the Death Star, and everybody starts panicking. Gorn is caught up in the panic, and crashes into a TIE Bomber. Everything goes black.

Chapter 1

-Luke Skywalker: He is having a vision of himself fighting several villains of the Empire, and defeats them easily, all until there is one left, who is hooded, and has a crimson saber. The duelist is more than a match for Luke in the vision, and has the Knight on his knees after a very short time. The hooded man teases and taunts Luke, telling him that even if the balance of the force is restored, that doesn’t mean the Jedi will rule again, because both sides will go extinct forever in a matter of time. As the man leaps to deliver the final blow, Luke is awakened by Yez McQuarrie, son of one of the founding fathers of the New Republic, Pharl McQuarrie. Yez found that he was force sensitive, and is acting as Luke’s mock apprentice. Yez tells Luke that he sensed something wrong with Luke, and came to see what it was. Luke lies and says that nothing is wrong, but his apprentice doesn’t believe it for a second, but disregards it, and asks Luke where they were headed anyway (They are on the Millennium Falcon). He says that they are going to Mimban to obtain some shards of the Kaiburr Crystal for Luke’s second lightsaber to be built by himself. He tells a short summary of his past experience with the crystal, then is interrupted by Han Solo, who tells them that they are exiting hyperspace.

-Yez McQuarrie: The crew enters the cockpit where Chewbacca and General Cracken turn off hyperspace. Cracken gets up out of Han’s seat, and Mr. Solo sits down. They find that there are a few TIEs waiting for them. A short dogfight ensues while Han Solo enters the atmosphere, and the Falcon impacts bumpily. (all of the TIEs are shot down also). Han whines a lot that his ship was damaged, and tells the others that he’s going to need to take his ship to get repaired before they get off, and they’ll need to go without him.

Chapter 2

-Yez McQuarrie: Luke, Cracken, and Yez are traveling in the jungles of Mimban, so Yez asks some questions about the force and stuff for a while. They enter the temple, obtain a fragment, and Luke uses the Force to combine all of the Lightsaber pieces and create the full lightsaber. He ignites it and his green one, then swings the two around, then stops and holds it up and shouts with joy. Yez wonders what it’d be like to make one, because his blue/yellow saber was a gift from his father, who was a Captain in the Clone Wars (One of Rahm Kota’s). After a while, Luke tells him that they need to hurry up and go before Han starts to worry. Luke laughs.

-Gorn: He wakes up to see that he was in a bacta tank surrounded by medical droids. He is taken out, and then a Falleen with tons of scars and a white uniform named Xeirna and General Jan Dodonna take him into a room and question him with questions he has no idea why they’d ask. Once it’s over, he is put in his cell to wonder what happened after he crashed. Suddenly, an explosion rocks him out of his cell bed, and he hears blaster fire outside of the prison station. The door to his cell opens to show several Space Troopers They throw him a blaster, and he runs out.

Chapter 3

-Luke Skywalker: On the way back from the crystal’s temple, they find that there is a group of Imperials waiting for Skywalker near a Sentinel Landing Craft. Two Stormtroopers converse about how they were holding up Rouge Squadron on Cilpar, General Fordo and the Great Rebel Knights’s remnants in the backwater areas of Coruscant (“Corusc-Imperial Center” is what he says), and Princess Leia and General Riekaan’s forces on the planet of Jorohna, and they had to get stuck on this deserted planet. Yez is surprised by this and shouts, thus alerting the Stormtroopers. But while they start shooting at the three, Han Solo and Chewie, on the other side of the opening of the woods, sneak into the Sentinel and takes it over, then pointing the main guns at the 4 Stormtroopers there. They begin to retreat into the forest, but when Luke and Yez ignite their sabers, they give up. Luke interrogates the soldiers, and finds that they were here to stall them while Oovo IV was being raided. They were supposed to be elite commando troops, but they hadn’t been used for military purposes in years, so they were really rusty, and thus just gave up. They were also in Katarn-Class Stormtrooper armor. Han tells the other heroes that the city nearest to the forest is entirely filled with Patrol Troopers. This whole thing was an ambush, and the Falcon can’t get fixed. They have to take off anyway and hope that it doesn’t explode when going into hyperspace.

Chapter 4

-Admiral Vanda: His Star Destroyer, the Green Blade, goes from hyperspace to realspace, and Shows up just in time to see the Millennium Falcon and Sentinel blazing off the planet. Vanda attempts to shoot them down by using hundreds of cannons and 3 TIE Defenders, but the ships easily run through Vanda’s blockade. Luckily for Luke Vanda, one crewmember captured the coordinates that the two ships had, and he tells the crew to pursue into hyperspace, and hurry.

Admiral Vanda (real): Green Blade shows up, and the M Falcon dodges lasers, but when it goes off to hyperspace, it locks up and the Green Blade pulls it in, capturing all 5 of them.

-Yez: They exit hyperspace, and show up at the prison to find several Star Destroyers laying siege to the station. Space Troopers fly across the vacuum and into the Prison’s hangars. The few starfighters that were available for combat against the Imperial forces, a few outdated Cloud Cars and Z-95 Headhunters, are being obliterated by the new models of the TIE Vanguards and TIE Oppressors. The Millennium Falcon races through the carnage and lands in one of the hangars, eliminating all of the raiding Space Troopers. While Han, Chewie, and Cracken man the 3 turrets (2 actual turrets and the special one on the underbelly, from ESB), Yez goes on his first true “Jedi mission” as he and his “master” Luke make their way to the central command station at the center of the asteroid by cutting down stormtroopers and using awesome Jedi skills. Before they get to the station, they find that General Cal Weir has broken out and led a huge force of prisoners to riot their way out of the prison blocks and out towards the nearest hangar. The group begins to assault the two Jedi, and when Yez tries to strike back, Luke tells him that the Jedi way is to defend, not attack. They were too dangerous, and they needed to escape before the riot turns deadly, and not die fighting. Suddenly, Wedge contacts Luke and tells him that an X-wing dual-seater is waiting for them back at the hangar that they came in from. Luke tells Yez that now they have an extra incentive to run. They force speed away, but Weir follows them.

Yes (real): The captured guys see the carnage, and as the Space Troopers and TIEs launch, Luke uses a mind trick and is able to free himself from Vanda. They start to escape in a Shuttle-type thing, and Yez uses a mind trick to mess with the stormtroopers while they’re getting away.

-Gorn: He is in the riot group, and bursts into the hangar next to Weir, blasters firing at the rebel pilots. Gorn sprints past some rebels, punches and knocks out Yez, and then gets into a Lightsaber vs. fist fight, with him having to dodge Luke’s fury of slashes. Eventually, he kicks Luke in the stomach, and hijacks one of the A-Wings. he zooms out of the hangar, blasts a few New Republic fighters away (Rouge Squadron and several vessels arrived), and when a Star Destroyer arrives (The Green Blade), he alerts Admiral Vanda and then lands on it. The Star Destroyer then docks itself very near the hangar, and uses its shuttles to bring back all of the prisoners that they can bring. Luke and Yez try to pursue in the Dual X-Wing, but it goes into hyperspace too quickly. The other Star Destroyers have stopped engaging the NR Vessels, and also jump shortly after.

Gorn (real): The riot group gets so violent that by the time they enter the docking bay, the group starts fighting within itself, which creates almost pure chaos. Only a few manage to escape, including Weir and a couple of bodyguards of his in the dual X-Wing right before Luke and Yez can get to it.

Chapter 6 (2 chapters for battle)

Gorn: He reunites with Vanda, and he tells him that a lot happened since Endor. They and a few others ride a turbolift up to another Star Destroyer “’Man, how is this possible?’ asks Gorn” above, and notices the growing amount of ships that are arriving from hyperspace. They walk through a corridor or two. Just while Vanda is talking about being optimistic about the future, they door opens to reveal a gigantic command center for the new Super Star Destroyer, the Hand of God. Atha Prime is sitting in a command chair much like the Emperor’s, but much more modern and less evil. His chair turns around automatically, and he greets the new officers on deck. Vanda relays information about the mission (and the stalling attempts), and Prime finds the Kaiburr crystal information especially interesting.

Atha Prime: It IMMEDIATELY switches to Prime’s POV as he thinks about why he needs the Kaiburr Crystal, which is because he knows of its history and wants to use it to power the dark side force power that he so desperately wants.

Chapter 7

Atha Prime: After some research, he sends different groups of Dark Side Adepts to different planets, and Vanda fights against the New Republic near Xo. Atha Prime takes the opportunities of both Jerec and Vanda fighting the New Republic and he himself travels to Tatooine for an undisclosed reason. (Jerec’s side mission at the Valley of Jedi was to find a possible crystal there, though there never was one as the Adepts found the other 6 first.

Luke, Yez, Gorn, Vanda, Vergere: Vanda attacks Xo partially to stall the New Republic and partially to find another crystal for Prime. The battle leaves the Green Blade crashed and Luke & Yez captured by the Zanibar Yuuzhan Vong for pain sacrifices. Vanda is also captured, as he was one of the only survivors of his crew. Gorn is also captured. While Vanda is being tortured, Yez’s Saber AKA Tholme’s Saber is destroyed, so when the three break out, he has to use the Vong Shaper’s lightsaber-like mini shaper weapon that turns what its lighting touches into plant-life. Vergere and Nom Anor sense Vanda’s resistance to the torture and Vergere gets an idea…
(By Chapter 10)
As the three take shelter in an ancient Ratakan temple, Gorn is interrogated by Luke and Yez, asking about why the Empire would want to occupy this backwater planet. Gorn replies by walking them into the temple and showing them the glowing yellow crystal. Gorn fills in most of the details that he knows, and then he says that if they want to catch Atha Prime, they’d need to get to Tatooine quickly. Luke is shocked and wonders what anyone needed on Tatooine, but suddenly remembers something, and tells the other three (including R2) to hurry up and follow them. Gorn grabs the crystal and goes with them.
They take off in a BTS-A2 Long-Range Strike Fighter/Bomber AKA H-Wing and then after disabling some blockading Star Destroyers, they take off into hyperspace.

Atha Prime, Luke: Atha Prime gathers the 6 crsystals he has and puts them in the Ratakan temple on Tatooine. He, assistant, Bataal Bandu, and the Dark Side Adepts all meet together. When Luke, Yez, and Gorn arrive and face the Adepts, Gorn throws the Xo stone and Atha Prime aquires all 7 needed. Luke and Yez defeat some adepts, but Prime, Gorn and the others escape back to the temple.
But when Atha is about to use the ultimate power of the crystals, Bataal Bandu betrays him and takes all of the power and most of the Adepts with him. Chy’do is killed for being with Prime, and Gorn & Prime are buried under the temple that Bandu destroys. Now, Bandu and the others have split and created a warlord faction, and the group is taking over Coruscant! Atha Prime had only one thing left to do to recapture the capital from Ysanne Isard…

Han, Leia,: Lots of politics and stuff, setting up the New Republic and all that junk, taking place on New Alderaan. They travel to the Imperial Warlord Yuhn Celtix’s water planet of Aquilaris (The podracing one) because he was going to negotiate a peace treaty, possibly gaining the New Republic several new planets, including the vital Duro System. There is a Summit that gathers several former Imperial leaders and warlords and New Republic leaders, but not long after the conferences are over, and Han & Leia are leaving, an assassin attempts to kill Celtix. The man is captured and is revealed to be a Bothan named Uion Fyu’yla, a Rebel Alliance High General. While this is obviously a trick to make the warlords destroy the treaties, Celtix knows one of the leaders is a traitor. But before he can react, the Bothan, who had already wired a proton bomb onto himself before attacking, explodes, and more assassins come and try to kill the survivors of the explosion. Han and Chewie gun down many of them early on in the skirmish, but smarter attackers fled and soon, the fight spread all across the underwater city of Prime Roon. Celtix is killed after attempting to escape in a Bongo, and some attackers hijacked the Falcon, C-3P0 still inside. Han gets angry enough that he takes a TIE and pursues it to the Sunken City, where two Imperial forces are blowing each other to pieces. Luckily, Lando and his commandoes arrive and take care of the insurrection creators. Leia and Chewie arrive in the Sunken City later, angry that Han cared more about his ship than his girlfriend and best friend. After a short argument, Lando breaks in along with the Fosh commando Yayf Blisten to tell the group about the news of a huge battle on Xo that is just beginning to fade, and now that the Imperials are retreating, Ackbar has a plan. Leia asks Lando what the plan is, and tells her to ask the Mon Cal himself. Tons of New Republic leaders (including Fenn Shysa) and the ally Imperial Warlords have shown up in the Sunken City to prepare for the final assault on Coruscant to defeat the Empire. Luke, Yez, and the other fighters that fought on Xo show up, and the plan for the battle is shown out in epic holograms. Han and Leia are sent to the nearby planet Lors with Yayf Blisten to gather the secretive Fosh warriors to help the attack on the Capital, while Luke leads the ground assault. Rouge Squadron leads the attack against Ysanne Isard. Admiral Ackbar leads the naval attack, but first, Admiral Wiriz leads the assault as a distraction to draw out all defenses. Unknown to the New Republic, a group of warlords led by Bataal Bandu are preparing a similar battle…

Luke is still in Tatooine, stranded. The assassins were from Bataal Bandu.

Wow this was complicated.

I could show you more of my ideas if you want. There are probably 100 .txt documents floating around my computer full of them.

The Metapolis: Part One

Part of the Short Story Writing Adventure! (please remember that this does not accurately reflect on my writing skills I am just trying to write fast :P)

Metapolis: Part 1

By Thedude3445

            This was America, and it was an America of fantasy. Long before the European Settlers arrived on the continent, there was magic. There was technology. There was civilization. It all collapsed thousands of years ago, and the ruins of the society were all but nonexistent… until now. Documents that explicitly analyzed the events of old have come up, and we have discovered a plethora of new information about the ancestors of the American Indians.

The most interesting of these stories is that of a young man named Bob Richton. Several pieces that we have uncovered chronicle the life of this interesting person, and it is a very peculiar one. We had our experts arrange the documents pertaining him into a cohesive series of prose to promote the study of this man’s journey in this pre-Columbian America.


Walking out of the university, Bob Richton looked out on the landscape of America. A metropolis of magic is what he saw. Manaether, the energy that flowed around all people of the continent, was so powerful that it could be harvested and implemented into Magitech. Because of this, Americans were able to become the most technologically advanced peoples in the entire world. They developed the first Manaether energy bomb before the rest of the world could wield iron tools. But they would not interfere with them. It was a solemn vow that all Americans had to take to avoid all contact with the outside world. This promise was only broken a few times that Richton knew of; the Great Pyramids first came to mind, and so did the Celtic Druids, but all others were mostly insignificant.

Richton knew that eventually, these peoples would gain the technological know-how to be able to travel to America. He could not estimate how long it would take, but when they did, he feared his kind would be unable to cope with the change and war would break out. He doubted the outside world would ever discover Manaether, but if they did, it would change everything.

That is what Richton studied about in college. He was a student of Magiphysics, but his true passion was speculative futurism. That is why he was leaving to go to the store to buy Manamaterials to write fan fiction about the outside world and the adventures he thought they would have. Their lives, made so simple by the lack of Manaether, captivated him, and drew him to the Etherpen every night to write stories upon stories. He never published these, but one day he would. One day he would.

One day, he bumped into an old man. He was obviously slightly demented, as he looked around like he could not tell that the person who bumped into him was directly in front of him. Richton gazed oddly, until the old man spoke.

“Son, you need to help me. I have lost my glasses, and I need you to help me find the key to the Vault of Anesthesia. It is very important to your safety that you do this.” This is what the old man said.

Richton could not speak, for a bunch of warbots burst out of the wall and shot the old man down. They began pursuing Richton as well. He was an able-bodied runner, but the warbots were powered by Manaether, and were extremely fast. The only choice he had was to conjure up some manaether strength to blast them into oblivion. Which he did.

What really mattered to Richton now was figuring out why these warbots attacked the old man and then him. So he went to the police office department to file a report. They seemed oddly anxious about him being in there while he was filling out the etherpaperwork, and it set him on edge. Suddenly, the police officers pulled out their magiweapons and began attacking  him. Richton threw his etherpen and killed one of them, but there were still three that were firing away. He grabbed a magiweapon off of the one officer’s dead body and blasted the remaining ones.

This was becoming a serious problem, with these people attacking him. It must have had something to do with the old man and the Vault of Anesthesia. Before he died, he said that he needed to find the key to unlock this vault so… That was what he was going to do.

Where would he look first? There was a key factory over on the north side of town, he remembered. So that is where he went. Except when he got there, it was completely destroyed! That is when he realized that the government was manipulating events. The government was evil and was trying to prevent him from fulfilling his mission. There was only one person he could trust.

He went to the metalsmith shop where Anna Shirley performed her daily job. They had a thing for many years, until it was revealed that she was the captain of the U.A.N. Ghostly Guise, a pirate airship powered by Manaether that pillaged across the entire Earth, not just America either. Their terror was known even to the outside world! That was, until Richton took town the airship with his militia of warbots. Their relationship was over, but the Earth was safe from pirates. They still kept a professional relationship in the years since, however.

“You want me to make a key that can open the Vault of Anesthesia?” She asked. Richton told her that this was true. So the two of them set off to the Vault itself, held in the capital city of America; Milwaukee!


This place was like Hell. Fire and Brimstone literally covered the area known as Wisconsin. Dragons were everywhere. This should have been the tip-off to Richton that the government was evil, but he figured that it was a strategic defense zone or something… Never mind that Milwaukee was located at the bottom of a valley or anything. ..

They found the Vault of Anesthesia. Anna got out her welding gear and began preparing the key while Richton kept guard in case any government officials began to attack them. They never did, however, and they entered the Vault with ease.

Something kept Richton on edge, however. It just felt unnatural for so little conflict to be happening at what should be the climax of their adventure. Something was bound to happen. The Vault was almost completely empty, except for an odd relic in the center, so he assumed this was a trap or something.

“It’s not a trap, goodness Richton!” said Anna suddenly. “You have been on edge ever since we entered! Do you even know what the Vault of Anesthesia holds?”

Richton told her that he did not know.

“This thing in the center, you see it?” She pointed to the relic. “It’s a portal.”

“To what?”


Richton gasped. Atlantis?! That was the ancient civilization that had all but disappeared by the time theirs had begun; it was so far advanced that it was assumed they travelled off into space before sinking their own continent, which had previously connected Africa and America. If the continent still existed somehow, it could change everything about the way the worlds’ civilization progressed.

“It exists,” she told Richton. “But we, the government, cannot yet open it. That is why I summoned you.”

She pressed down on her wrist, transforming her into the crazed old man that he had seen before. Richton completely forgot that Anna was a member of the Fuchsia tribe, peoples who were able to shapeshift with their manaether abilities.

But he was curious about one thing. “Why me?”

“You have manaether powers beyond the possibilities of any other in America. You have the key that can unlock the universe.”

“But you have the key, remember?”

“Not this key.” Anna tossed the key she made to open the Vault. “The key is inside you.”

And with that, he cast a magispell upon the relic. Not one that he already knew, but an instinctual one. It opened up a pinkish vortex of swirling manaether; the portal to Atlantis. They stepped in.


Waiting For the Mow

First Short Story Writing Adventure story!

Waiting For the Mow

By Thedude3445

No I have not actually read Waiting For Godot, as you can tell.

Setting: A bench on a sidewalk in front of a man’s house, with comically tall grass on the lawn behind him.

Ethan is sitting on the bench, staring off into the distance. His neighbor, Ralph, walks up to him.

Ralph: Hey, Ethan, I haven’t seen you in a while!

Ethan: I know. I’ve been inside for the last couple of weeks with a really bad case of the flu. It was terrible.

Ralph: The flu? What’s that?

Ethan: Oh no, it seems that I have been sent off to an alternate universe while I was sick at home! A universe where the flu never existed and where Martians will be able to invade the Earth and not be killed off by germs!

Ralph: I was just kidding.

Ethan: Oh.


Ralph:  So what brings you to the outside world today, Ethan?

Ethan: Well, I called a lawn service to trim my lawn every Tuesday while I was sick, but they never showed up!

Ralph: So basically you just got ripped off?

Ethan: That’s the odd part. I never even paid them. They weren’t going to accept payment until after the job was done.

Ralph: So what does it really matter that they didn’t come?

Ethan: Umm…

Ethan turns his head and looks at the lawn. Ralph turns in response and freaks at seeing the several feet-tall grass.

Ralph: How long were you sick, again?

Ethan:  A while.


Ethan: I really need the lawn guys to come, because I have no way to cut grass this tall!

Ralph: You could just like burn it or something.

Ethan: And then the rest of the neighborhood.

Ralph: Good point. But maybe a lawn this out-of-shape has its benefits.

Ethan: Like what?

Ralph: Well, you could finally make that live-action Pikmin adaptation that you’ve always wanted.

Ethan: You’re right. I could!

Ralph: See, a little optimism goes a long way!

Ethan: But the lawn guys are probably coming right now, oh no.

Ralph: Just call them off before they get here. It’s pretty early; they might not have even left yet.

Ethan: Ok.

Ethan grabs a cell phone out of his jacket pocket and calls the lawn service. There is no response.

Ethan: They didn’t answer.

Ralph: Call again. They will probably answer.

Ethan calls again. Still no answer.

Ethan: Where are they?

Ralph: Probably on their way. You’ll have to tell them in person.

Ethan: But they’ll charge me a fee!

Ralph: It’s either that, or say goodbye to your Bulborb Dreams.

Ethan: The fee is acceptable…

Ralph: Good. Now let’s wait for them to come.

Silence for a few moments. They look around the neighborhood and at each other at times, until they get bored.

Ethan: When are they going to get here…

Ralph: It’s only been a couple minutes since I even came over here. Be patient!

Ethan: Well, you are not helping pass the time whatsoever, Silent Sam!

Ralph: My name is Ralph.

Ethan: Is it? I didn’t actually know what it was.

Ralph: We’ve been neighbors for seven years, Ethan…

Ethan: Sorry, I’ve been sick!

Ralph: How many neighbors do you even know?

Ethan: I know Maximilian… He’s cool.

Ralph: There is no one in this neighborhood named Maximilian.

Ethan: I know… That plan wasn’t going to work anyway. Even if there was, you would have asked me questions about him, and I would not have known what to say.

Ralph: Then why did you try it in the first place, Ethan? It was a dirty trick.

Ethan: I’m sorry… You’re right.

Ethan begins to sob. Ralph hugs him.

Ralph: There there, it’s okay.

Ethan: I just want some friends…

Ralph: I’ll be your friend.

Ethan: My best friend?

Ralph: No.

Ethan: It was worth a shot.

Ralph: That it was.

They cease the embrace.

Ethan: You are right though, I am very impatient. I probably should have waited for the phone to ring more than twice when I called the lawn people.

Ralph: You mean you never actually called the lawn people.

Ethan: No… I was impatient!


Ralph: So they are not actually coming?!

Ethan: Oh yes, they are. They called me back the next day when they noticed the missed call. I’m impatient; not stupid!

Ralph: Okay, okay. Good. This is not all just a waste of time, then.

Ethan: And if it is?

Ralph: I dunno. Then this will be a boring waste of time?

Ethan: That’s all?

Ralph: Yeah, did you think I would freak out and do something drastic if this turned out to be a waste of time?

Ethan: Kinda…?

Ralph: Like what?

Ethan: Like… I’m not really sure. I just did. It’s more dramatic that way.

Ralph: Hmm…

Ralph ponders for a moment, in deep thought.

Ethan: What?

Ralph: Fine. If this turns out to be a waste of time… I will get an axe out and chase you around the neighborhood. All right?

Ethan: Sounds cool.

Ralph: Good.

They wait once again. Neither speaks.

Ralph: So, why are you so obsessed with Pikmin, anyway?

Ethan: Well my dad Wert was a pretty big fan when he was younger.

Ralph: So you are following in your dad’s footsteps? That’s cool.

Ethan: Yeah. It is.

Ralph: I kind of liked Pikmin back in the day. Pikmin 8: The Return of Olimar was my favorite.

Ethan: Really? The MMO aspects were good, but I didn’t think the main story was as good, at least in that one.

Ralph: Well I was never a big single player girl when I was a kid. Now that I’m a grown man, I probably would like it more. I get all the social activity I want with my kids and their friends’ parents.

Ethan: My dad never let me go outside when I was a kid, so I didn’t really socialize that much.

Ralph: Why not?

Ethan: I’m not really sure why. I was sick for one, but more likely it was because of my other dad, Andrew. Wert never wanted me to meet him for reasons I have never fully explored.

Ralph: That is simply the mystery of parents.

Ethan: Yep.

Another moment of silence.

Ethan: So… I don’t think they’re coming.

Ralph: Probably not.

Ethan: Wanna go inside and watch the game?

Ralph: It’d be more exciting than waiting for some mowing service that will never come.

Ethan: If they show up and mow my lawn… Too bad I guess. But I really don’t want to wait any longer. It’s kind of boring.

Ralph: So true.

They go inside Ethan’s house.


A moment after the curtains close.

Ethan: Hey! Watch where you swing that axe!

Trol Seassib=

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