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Distanced: An Audio Drama


Distanced: An Audio Drama cover art

http://thedude3445.bandcamp.com/album/distanced-an-audio-drama

This is one of the Short Story Writing Adventure Marathon stories that I’ve been putting off making for the longest time. What I have learned from making this Audio Drama is that random fiction generators + improvisation make for really stupid stories.

But anyway, download this album and get a bunch of pictures, including drawings I made when I was 7, .docx files of many other SSWAM stories, and 3 bonus songs (one of which is visible to non-downloaders already, though). It is free and you should download it.

http://thedude3445.bandcamp.com/album/distanced-an-audio-drama

Magnificent Star Wars: Chapters 1-3


I can’t believe I never posted this story to this site! the first 3 chapters (really all I wrote) of this fan fiction are here. I need to finish this; I probably will soon.

[20th Century Fox theme and logo]
[Lucasfilm logo]
A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away…
[The starry sky appears in the background, but the opening crawl never begins.]
[Suddenly, we shift to a man sitting in a comfortable chair in a dark room.]
[This is SIO BIBBLE, a mysterious old man, an esteemed historian for the GALACTIC ALLIANCE. He is of no relation to the man of the same name from Naboo, of course. But he is no ordinary historian; he studies the 5th dimension; alternate universes, where even one decision can radically change the entire fate of the Galaxy.]
SIO BIBBLE: Our Galaxy’s foundation dates back tens of thousands of years, when our alien oppressors died off, and we gained the abilities of hyperspace travel. It allowed us to traverse the stars at speeds much faster than light so the many forms of sentient life could mingle among the galaxy. But imagine a land where the oppressors’ technology was never inherited, because they never existed. Imagine if hyperspace technology was not available until each species developed it on its own. What would such a galaxy be like? I have uncovered a universe like what I have described, and it is magnificent. According to it, life in our galaxy would be something like this…
A Star Destroyer passed overhead. It was not a combat vessel- merely a starfighter carrier, but a sight to behold nonetheless, for the Alderaanians at least. Any sign of troops returning home to the colonies was a grand one; it meant loved ones coming back, and it could have meant that the war between the Humans and the Duros was dying down, in which case peace could finally return to humanity. Bail watched out the window as his citizens gathered and cheered at the cruiser, which was beginning to land near the parade of people and probably about to launch its stunt ships. He secretly hoped that all troops were returning to their homes, no matter the reason– even retreat– but it was a far-fetched idea, as President Valorum and the United States {The global government of Coruscant, much like the Galactic Alliance is to our galaxy, except just over humanity. –Ed. Bibble} leaders seemed to have no intention of ending this war until they took every single planet that the Duros held. But everyone could dream…
Boom.
All went silent as a shockwave ripped through the city and obliterated all in its path. The mayor of Alderaan fell to the ground, and could only gaze at the spinning floor, a sharp ringing noise piercing his ears. Moments passed, but they felt like hours to him. The air grew more and more noxious, and all Bail could do was close his eyes and pass…. out…
>>>HOLONET NEWS NETWORK- COLONIAL EDITION- Reporting Live at Alderaan’s capital city, Skywalker Ranch, on November 2nd, 361, at 7:07 AM. This is Aayla Secura, field reporter for CHNN. Just twelve hours ago, Mandalorian Terrorists set off a Star Destroyer ((Carrier Class- Model Year 357, ID #4131025612)) that was filled to the brim with thousands of explosive proton bombs right in the middle of the city. As you can see from behind me, the damage is severe; not a single building is left standing, not even the City Hall. Mayor Antilles’s status is unconfirmed, but he is thought to have been killed, as several unidentified bodies have been retrieved from the City Hall. A list of confirmed dead and injured is on the main page. ((LINK)) Nothing is certain yet, but more details of this disaster will be unveiled as time goes on. Ciao.
Now Bail Antilles was awake, safely hidden in his underground bunker. He sighed as he viewed images of the city-wide carnage, feeling beyond hopeless. These pirates called Mandalorians had been attacking the Northern colonies for years now, and had even established their own faux-government, but Alderaan was a Central Colony; one of Humanity’s 13 most important planets! The United Coruscanti government {the main Superpower state on Coruscant; a mega-sized confederation that had twice as many settlements on alien worlds than all other nations combined. –Ed. Bibble} could never stand for this! But they would, Bail had a feeling.
The Human-Duros War had been fiercely fought for what seemed like an eternity; about half a century. It started in 313, and would probably continue for many more. The United Coruscanti Militia would not devote any large number of troops to anything other than the war effort, and the Mandalorian Pirates took advantage of that. Now the Middle Colonies were feeling the effects of the long drawn-out conflict, and it could easily reach Coruscant itself in a decade or less.
“Sir?” Aide Helix asked. “Mayor Antilles. According to the news broadcasts, the entire populous believes… Well, that you’re dead. Sir. Umm, if it’s alright with you, I would very much like to announce that the reports of your deaths were, umm, greatly exaggerated. Then, uh, we could probably get straight to the rebuilding process, so that this crisis-“
“No,” The Alderaanian mayor interrupted. “From now on, I AM dead.”
Helix was obviously baffled and distraught by this declaration, and took several moments before he was able to stutter out, “B-But… Sir! I… What? Uh… Sir… I… I… I will not assist you in any suicidal halluc-“
Once again, Bail interrupted, saying, “No, I need to be considered dead for what I am about to do.”
The Aide reluctantly asked the all-important question: “Umm… If… I…. Uh… Dare I ask…? But… What, uh, what are you about to… do?” There was no reply. Silence filled the bunker. Finally, Bail spoke.
“I’m going to gather an army,” he replied. “and we’re going to destroy the Mandalorians, once and for all.”

In the days following the Mandalorian pirates’ attack on Alderaan, former mayor Bail Antilles left for Ord Cantrell, a southern colony deep in the Outer Rim Territories, adopting a pseudonym of a John Shepard, an out-of-luck mercenary. While it was unknown why he travelled there at the time, as this was a desolate ghost planet, {The planet used to be a rich resort planet due to a gold rush, but once the mines ran dry around 304, most everyone absconded away to other Ord planets in hopes of striking it rich. –Ed. Bibble} the reason soon became obvious.

Bail stepped into the bar. It was a mix of several species; Humans, Duros, and Twi’leks alike; even a long-necked grey alien that he couldn’t recognize. Quite the place. Was this the future, Bail wondered? A galaxy where all species would mix together? A future like that sounded far too distant for him to think about for more than a moment. Besides, he was on a mission.
Sitting at the table was a mid-sized, balding man that was alone with half a dozen glasses of blue tequila. {Captain Picard certainly bears some resemblance to this mysterious man. Though that man is in a completely different universe from ours, so many of you will not get my joke… Carrying on… -Ed. Bibble} Bail instantly recognized him and sat down in a chair across from him.
“Name’s John Shepard.” Said Bail.
“Yeah, really?”
“Mhm. Just a Merc looking for good business.”
“Yeah, really. Huh.”
“What are you doing out here in the Outer Rim?”
“Hmm. Yeah… Really? Really?”
The balding man pulled out his gun, the barrel up against Bail’s right temple. Responding with amazing reflexes, Bail smacked the gun out of his hand. Both of them threw punches at each other, and their hands collided with a glorious smack, causing both to recoil backwards. Spectators began forming a circle around the table where the two battled each other at lightning speeds.
After several seconds of straight punches, they disconnected and ceased their direct combat. While the bald man picked up a chair, Bail attempted a roundhouse kick to the gut. He missed, and twirled down onto the cold ground with a pathetic thud, without the need for throwing chairs or anything. Spectators became furious at the apparent anticlimax and immediately began dispersing.
“Huh, really,” Said the bald man. “Gettin’ rusty.” He held out a hand to Bail, and lifted him back up. “Guess being a mayor has softened ya up, wuss.”
“Well at least I don’t have an addiction to violence like you do,” replied Antilles, brushing the dust from the floor off of his clothes.
The bald man cocked a brow up. “What the hell kind of comeback was that?” he jokingly asked, sporting a wide grin.
“Give me a chance, c’mon!” Bail laughed and shook the bald man’s hand. “So Gasgano, what are you doing out here?”
Gasgano, the bald man, put his hand behind his head and rubbed his neck, saying, “Meh, just looking for a couple fights, ‘cuz life on Coruscant got hella boring real fast.. Guess you’re right about me, huh?”
Their happy reunion lasted a few moments more, but their smiles both quickly faded, and they got down to business. Gasgano looked into Bail’s eyes with a piercing gaze. He understood the circumstances of John Shepard’s visit very clearly.
“Why me?” He asked. Gasgano was never one for beating around the proverbial bush, especially not in times like these. “I don’t wanna be a part of this, and you know that. My merc days are long over.”
“This is not just a merc mission,” said Bail. “The entire United States could be at risk here, and you know that. I need a team to defeat these Mandalorians, Gasgano, and you’re the best.”
“I’m not the best anymore. I’m gettin’ old, just like you.”
“It’s not just your fighting skills I need, you know.”
“What else do I got? Not any charmin’ good looks, anymore.”
“I need your help forming this team; I have no idea where to look.”
“And I do?”
Some bar-goers that had been watching their previous duel had exited the bar during the fight to contact authorities. They would need to hurry up this conversation. Fast.
“Yeah. Otherwise you wouldn’t be out here searching already, before I even got here.”
“You know me too well, Bail.” Gasgano always went out of his way to
“It’s hard being a “roughneck” and being a nice person, right? It’s hard and nobody understands?”
“Anyway, yes I have found somebody, I was just waitin’ for ya to ask.”
“Who is it?”
“A woman named Shaak Ti. An amazing warrior. Heard she uses a sword instead of a gun.”
“A sword? Well, that’s interesting. She a Twi’lek?” {Twi’leks are a species of humans that adapted to have2 brain stems coming out from the back of their heads like a twintail haircut on a little girl. Some wrap their stems around their necks, though usually males are the only ones to do this. Besides that, they’re pretty much human. Of course we should all know this, because in our universe they are the most populous sentient species! –Ed. Bibble}
“Nah, she’s human. Well, technic’lly. She’s pretty much savage, goin’ around and killin’ anyone she doesn’t like. But she does it well.”
“Are… you sure about this?”
“Yeah, don’t worry, she only offs scum. Well mostly. But she’ll be a good teammate.” Gasgano paused. “…Prob’lly.” Bail had a very bad feeling about this, but he went along with his friend’s assumption that she would be a good addition to the team.
Gasgano continued. “Anyway, she’s near Bespin right now, at least from what I’ve been hearin’. We gotta leave quickly though, she never stays anywhere too long.”
Bail nodded his head in agreement, but noticed two or three policemen walking into the bar. One of them shouted at them, trying to get them to surrender without a fight. They completely misunderstood their friendly duel, but oh well… Hurtling a chair at the policemen, Gasgano made a run for it, with Bail quickly tagging behind. This was going to be quite an adventure, he could already tell that much.

>>>HOLONET NEWS NETWORK- COLONIAL EDITION- REPORT- November 5th, 361, at 12:46 PM: Former Mayor Bail Antilles ((Born April 13, 310 in Serbiie {one of the many states of the United Coruscanti. –Ed. Bibble})) has been confirmed to have been killed by the disaster on November 1st, by his aide, Helix Haust ((Born June 12, 325 on Alderaan)), who has now taken the mantle as the Mayor of Alderaan. In his press release, just 46 minutes ago, he stated that cleanup efforts were to begin immediately, and that any Mandalorians on the planet, pirates or not, are to be arrested on-sight, until this crisis is resolved. This comes as a shock to the thousands of Mandalorians that are living on Alderaan; they make up almost 12 percent of the population of this colony, and many believe that this declaration is bigotry, as they believe Mayor Haust is judging their entire race by just a few pirates. No word from the United States government on this action as of yet. We will update you as we get more details. Again, a list of confirmed dead and injured is on the main page. ((LINK)) Also, please donate to the Alderaan Disaster Relief fund ((LINK)). Just 100 credits can help a family in need that has been devastated by this event.
>>>WAR NEWS
>>>HOLONET NEWS NEWTWORK-WAR NEWS- Reporting live from Naalol, November 5th, at 2:07 PM, this is Senior Executive Reporter Even Piell. The United States has just scored a decisive victory over the Duros, driving the 5th Fleet back into the Outer Rim! Because of this battle, Humanity has now gained 6 more systems, including the farm-planet Taanab; celebrations will take place in Tyson City {The capital city of the entire United Coruscanti} this evening at 7:00 PM; make sure to bring your pocketbook, because Main Street’s going to be HOT with surplus items tonight! A list of sales in Tyson City tonight can be found here. ((LINK)) This is Even Piell, signing off.
Boom.
Hyperspace travel was always an annoyance to Bail; it made him nauseous and the initial blast of speed always gave him a headache. He loved how light speed travel was able to advance civilization by, well, light years, but would it have hurt anyone to at least attempt to make it work more smoothly? It has been around for what, like eighty years! Instead, scientists just try to make each new version go faster and faster by miniscule amounts, like being able to go between Coruscant and Ralltiir twenty seconds faster. That was good, but if Bail promised himself that he would not experience hyperspace sickness one more time after this whole ordeal. Not one.
“It’s a’right, Bail,” exclaimed Gasgano. “We’re only gonna be in hyperspace for a couple hours!”
“I know, I know,” Bail replied.
Gasgano shot back with a sharp “HA! No ya don’t! Ya’ve acted like this every single time we’ve ever gone inta hyperspace tagether!”
Yep, he was right. But still… His complaints were completely valid and he had no reason to have to feel like throwing up every time he blasted off!
Boom.
The ship suddenly jutted out of hyperspace. Bail swore; they were caught in gravity well {n our universe, these are relatively modern devices; they keep a gravitational pull on anything within a certain radius so it becomes impossible to make the jump back into hyperspace, at least until the gravity well is destroyed or turned off. –Ed. Bibble} Surrounding them were several gigantic space vessels, each with the insignia of the Duros Navy. This was not good, not one little bit. These guys were the same ones defeated this morning, and they were probably looking for some hardcore revenge.
“Well, at least we’re in the right system,” Gasgano said. The only way he was able to keep from freaking out in tense situations as these was through optimism and through humor, usually the most deadpan kind. His eyes fretted around like a nervous Kowakian lizard monkey, analyzing for any gap or opening in the fleet’s alignment. {Luckily for them, Tractor beams are not commonplace in the Duros Navy, or at least not yet. Hehehe… -Ed. Bibble}
Bail looked too, and he saw one- just one. But it was directly in the line of fire of three of the twelve ships, and far too risky. Just crazy enough to work, he guessed. He told Gasgano about their one lucky shot.
“Gasgano,” Bail shouted. “Look, right over there. If you jet it out right now, you could probably make it!”
“Like hell I could” was the only reply he got from his bald bud. But he jetted it out anyway.
Boom.
The ship burst into flames and was blasted into oblivion.

How will they get out of this one????? Who knows. I know, but you will not until I finish this darn thing.

My Love/Hate relationship with Helicopter



This game enrages me. It’s randomly generated so the game plays almost entirely on luck, and the physics are really poor so it’s really hard to go up and down when you need to. The hit box on the helicopter is way too big; many times I’ve “hit” a wall when I totally actually did avoid it, and the whole game is just overly simplistic and should be really boring.

But I play it anyway. I have no idea what is up with this game, but it’s so addicting. On some occasions, I’ve actually played it 20, 30 times in a row, and I’m not even good at it. There’s no other “casual” game that I’ve ever played that has matched my obsession with Helicopter, barring the Xbox Live Indie Game Baby Maker Xtreme. How can such a dumb and simple game interest me so much?

I have no idea, but one thing is for certain; the Super Mario Bros. version of Helicopter sucks really bad, and I DON’T like to play it, either. 😛

weekend


I’m going to be gone until monday. so enjoy yourself some posts by WaffleBlaster, aka MrVonAwesometon. Or any posts I’ve pre-published to come out during this weekend, which is likely.

My Super Smash Bros. 4 Dream Roster


Thedude3445’s Dream SSB4 Roster V1.0

* Unlockable
+New Character

Plus their final smashes, well for most characters. I’m partial to transformations, albeit non-invincible ones. I would really like to see a mode where you can permenantly play as each of the transformations in a battle, so it could be like Giga Bowser vs. Super Sonic vs. Fierce Diety Link.

All villains are unlockable because that would be awesome; unlocking a character after you defeat them in an epic boss battle.

69 characters, 37 newcomers, 32 returning. 4 transformation characters.

(this is actually slightly less than I was shooting for; 75 characters. But around there is fine. Remember that the iDensity Discs that the Wii U uses are 25GB, and that’s only single-layered; Brawl did double layer on the Wii discs, so SSB4 could do that on here too if it wants.)

Mario Series—-
Mario- transforming into full-on Fire Mario. Like the final sprites in this sprite sheet: http://www.mfgg.net/index.php?act=resdb&param=03&c=1&id=5059 .
Luigi*- Same Final smash… whatever it was….
Peach- Shadow Queen dangit! This would be completely amazing!
Bowser*- Giga Bowser
+Geno*- Turns everyone into those scarecrow status effects from SMRPG for 10-15 seconds. They have no recoil but they also can’t move, so he can deal massive damage (by hitting their weak points)
Geno would probably only be in if Sqeenix got some reps, IMO.
+Paper Mario- No idea about the final smash o.o
+Bowser Jr./Shadow Mario*- Hopping onto the Mecha Bowser from Super Mario Sunshine, which would appear in the background of the stage, and blasting away.

Donkey Kong Series—–
DK- DK needs a Giga DK too D=
Diddy- Same final smash
+K. Rool*- no idea about his final smash o.o

Yoshi/Wario Series—–
Yoshi- Same Final Smash, but not invincible please :/
Wario*- Same Final Smash, but not invincible please :/
+Waluigi*- How about Super Waluigi. But really terrible. Make Waluigi as much of a joke character as possible 😛

Zelda Series——
Link (Skyward Sword Style)- Fierce Diety Link FTW!
Zelda/Shiek- Same final smash.
But what about having to unlock Shiek? That would be interesting.
Gannondorf (severely decloned)*- Ganon as a transformation not attack.
+Imp Minda-Wolf Link/TP Midna- transform into that giant battle spider thing that was awesome!
+The villain from Skyward Sword*
I can already tell that he’s going to be a character worth remembering for years to come. Probably.

Metroid Series——-
Samus/ZSS- Same
+Ridley*- no idea of fs.
Predictable because Metroid has so few characters lol.

F-Zero Series——-
Captain Falcon*- Doing a version of the Falcon Punch from the anime (www.youtube.com/watch?v=FFtw7qW7Vcw); he punches his target, pausing the action, but then it goes back to the gameplay and a giant beam of energy shoots out above and below him (like how the galaxy is exploding in the anime), damaging anyone above/below him.
+Black Shadow*- The opposite of the Falcon Punch; he jumps at the target, grabs them, punches them, and throws them down at high speeds, almost always resulting in a KO if they’re over an edge.
+Rick???*- Since there haven’t been any F-Zero games since Climax, we have no way of knowing if the anime was actually canon or not. I’m assuming it is, and that Rick would be a lot like Captain Falcon, but less fire attacks and more guns.

Kirby Series——-
Kirby- Turns into the Galactic Knight guy from Kirby Super Star Ultra. Completely awesome.
Meta-Knight- Same FS. Nerf him please!!!!
Dedede*- same.
+Waddle Dee?- He’s the 4th player in the upcoming Kirby Wii. If it proves popular enough, maybe he’ll get in. IDK FS.

Star Fox Series——-
Fox- Turns into James McFreakingCloud. No idiotic Landmaster :/
Falco*-Hops in an Arwing and gets to blast at foes from offscreen like Snake’s Final Smash in Brawl. Except with lasers.
+Krystal- Gets on her pterodactyl and soars around at insane speeds, like Lyn’s Assist Trophy attack, except controllable.
+Peppy*- Surely a great WTF character, but only if SF643D sells well. Which it will duh 😛 FS- hops in the Blue Marine (WTF??? :P), still onscreen, and can shoot at people around the stage.

Pokemon Series——–
Pikachu- Same
Jigglypuff*- Same
+Someone Second Gen.- Placeholder Scizor (Hey he was #19 in the IGN Top 100 Pokemon so maybe!)
+Plusle & Minun??- Pikachu’s except somewhat different; like 2 sparks flying around, orbiting each other as they smack into opponents.
+Metagross*- YES. HELL FREAKING YES. Final Smash is meteor mash and you know it.
Lucario???- If he’s not replaced by….
+Zorark*- automatic shoe-in. Illusion ability. Seriously. Final Smash would be transforming into Genesect, Kyruem (sp?), or Landorous, and rampaging everywhere. Because why the hell not?
That would be 1 rep. per generation, unless both Plusle & Minun and Metagross get in, and unless Lucario goes away, which he probably will.

Fire Emblem Series——
Marth- Same
Ike*- Now in Vanguard Class. Complete with the ear ring. 8) A lot faster now since he’s like way buffer and can hold his sword well.
+Black Knight*- He stabs the ground with his sword, and then his armor bursts apart (with Ashera in the background like with Palutena in Pit’s) so he only has some chainmail left, and his armor re-forms into a sword. He’s just as powerful, but now he’s much faster and his sword is even longer.
+Lyn- Does her assist trophy move, except much mroe powerful.
+Eliwood*- He gets on a freaking horse for his final smash.
+Hector*- No idea actually…

Earthbound Series——-
Ness*- Same
Lucas*-Same?
+Who could be the third Earthbound character? Not Claus. Maybe Pokey in EB form or Paula maybe?

Retro——-
+Balloon Fighter- turns into a buff anime guy with 3 (!!!) balloons and insane power. lol
+Mach Rider*- Revamping MR into a gritty action racer/shooter should be Nintendo’s next project, so putting him in SSB4 first like they did with Pit is a must.
Pit- Same
+If KI:U is popular enough, maybe anime sword-guy, Palutena, or Medusa could get in? Or Eggplant Wizard. 😛
Ice Climbers- Exact. Same. 😛
+Sukapon*- Joy Mech Fight was one of Nintendo’s first fighters and was a whole lot like Smash Bros. He is basically the daddy of the series!
ROB- Same.
+Takamaru*-The best Samurai ever; comes with a Panda alternate costume (Show Me Your News inside joke :P)
+Little Mac- Pretty much the perfect fighter. Duh. Final Smash is Giga Mac. ‘Nuff Said.
Mr. Game and Watch*- The Octopus could be changed, I guess?

Modern——
Olimar- Same
+Louie*-Gets on the Titan Dweevil and controls it. Because he is evil…. O_O Anyway he’d be basically the Luigi-fied version of Olimar, with slightly different attacks and a different control method (he chucks the Pikmin at a slight angle instead of straight ahead, for example.)
+Starfy*- Maybe.
+AC Villager- There are so many possibilities for a final smash that there’s no point in even guessing 😛
+Mii- Duh. With the 3DS version focusing on RPG elements, the Mii will definitely be in and will have a customizable moveset.
+Isaac*- Except in his Dark Dawn form, which means 40 years old and extremely awesome.
+Batallion Soldiers*- From Batallion Wars; a group of 4 tiny guys, each in the foot classes of the game; soldier, mech, flamethrower, bazooka. You play as a 5th guy and command them around with the attacks. Like a cross between Olimar and Ice Climbers.

3rd Party——-
Snake*- Same? I would like to see Old Snake in here somehow, though probably just as an alt. costume I guess.
Sonic*- Change Super Sonic into something that’s actually beatable or at least dodgeable, PLEASE.
+Travis Touchdown*- Complete epic win, that’s all.
+Maxwell*- From Scribblenauts. The series is hugely popular and he fits right in with the Nintendo cast. An infinite amount of possible moves.
+Rocket*- AKA the Blue Slime from Dragon Quest. The mascot of the series. With Nintendo’s huge partnership with Squeenix to make this series, this seems pretty obvious.

Removed——
Wolf- I don’t really see why he was in in the first place. He was obviously going to be a clone of Fox and there’s not that much to change him to make him different. Meh. I guess he could be in there
Roy- Same. With Eliwood being in, Roy becomes completely useless.
Toon Link- Unncecessary clone.

Extra——
Pokemon Trainer. I think he should skip out on the regular roster, but then come back as DLC. But not just him, but 5; 1 for each generation. 2= Chikorita/Quilava/Feraligatr, 3= Treeko/Swampert/Blaziken, 4= Chimchar/Prinplup/Torrterra, 5= Tepig/Servine/Samurott. Win. Also I would love each of the Pokemon Trainers to get a transformation final smash into one legendary: 1= Mewtwo (except not sucky like in Melee) 2=Raikou 3=Deoxys 4= hmm… Giratina? 5= Victini, Landorous, or Genesect. IDK.

I thought this was an okay list, though there were a few I might want to change later. I’m still on the fence about Wolf, and it wouldn’t kill me to have Toon Link/Toon Zelda/Toon Ganonondorf if there were enough open spots. That’s why this is just a V1.0. so please feel free to criticize this as much as you want.

Nintendo City in 2024


This is exactly what http://nintendocity.com/forum will be like in 13 years…
————–

2024: Thedude3445: Hey guys, this site’s been going downhill recently! What’s up with you guys, our posting has gone down a lot in the past year!
Sitck: f**k you Thedude.
Thedude3445: But we need to increase posting! That’s why I’ve initiated this challenge!
Stick: once again, f**k you Thedude.
Sephy: Hey, I’ll start a new comic for this challenge, one based on the story of Pikmin 6! It’s a reboot of my last two tries of it.
K-Far: Hey does anyone else still play Minecraft Beta 1.9.9.1.8?I know people moved on to the full release but that’s my favorite game!
Pokemon Boy: oh ok I’ll play with you once I’m done playng Mother 3 on my 4DS!
K-Far: ok I’ll go on forum games to pass the time.
***
Mirsy: Hey Thedude have you seen the latest Homestuck update?
Thedude: Yeah, it looks like it’s finally almost at Act 6!
***
sofi: have you seen [url=blanksite.com/]inception episdoes[/url] it is my favorite show 1 in my watch list
[url=www.blankurl.com/]jersey shore middle-aged rampage episodes[/url]
***
tradedemon: Okay, I’m almost ready to change NC to vB. Just you wait a little while longer…
————-
Just a little thing I wrote that amused me a lot 😛

3 Ideas For 3 New Wii U Games!


(I wrote this the day of the Nintendo Press Conference 2011, right before it began. So the Wii U will still be referred to as Project Cafe.)

Project Cafe’s touch-screen controller is awesome. The amount of possibilities are nearly endless. But many people are very doubtful of the capabilities of Nintendo’s 6th Console, thinking that it will end up like the failed Dreamcast from Sega. So here’s three ideas for potentially amazing games that would easily prove its worth!

Roleplaying. It’s a hobby that many take up every weekend, and it is the tabletop game that inspired video games like Dragon Quest and Elder Scrolls. But nobody has ever been able to replicate the scope of a tabletop RPG and put it in a video game. It’s always just been too hard to let a person make up any world and story that they want in a game: until now. This Project Cafe game wouldn’t try to replace regular Roleplaying, but merely supplement it. Battles, enemy/NPC data, and character sheets would all be on-console, now because the controllers can stream data to each controller separately: players can write secret notes to the GM without notifying the other players, and players can even go on their separate side-campaigns without completely interrupting the other players. The GM get even more tools at their disposal: with the touchscreen, it is now easier than ever to create new monster types, characters, towns, and much more, all during the roleplaying session! Tactical planning and maps can be onscreen now, saving you money because you won’t need to buy miniatures anymore! The social experience of Roleplaying will still be the same, but now with Project Cafe, it will become even easier and much more accessible to outsiders that don’t want to have to buy and learn with a rulebook.

Inception was an amazing movie, that is pretty much a fact. But what excites me most about that movie now is that Christopher Nolan is trying to get a game adaptation produced! Before you think of how cool that would already be, think of the game with Project Cafe:

The game would be a FPS or TPS. The gametypes exculsive to Inception would definitely be “inception” and “extraction”, of course. One where you plant an idea and one where you steal one. Before the match, the “architect” will draw the maps on the touch screen in 3D before the match (or choose one that they’ve already saved/a premade one). The game will play out as the dreamer’s projections become more hostile and eventually try and kill the team. Then the subconscious security will come in, AKA the opposing team. In dreams, you can make any weapon just by thinking it up, and in this game, you can choose from dozens and dozens of weapons, including custom ones you can make yourself, like a pistol with a mini-harpoon as a bayonet. Plus, you can go further and further down in the “levels” of the dream. The settings are extremely diverse in the movie, so naturally the game would be even more so; the dreamer will get to choose from locations a crazy as a New York Skyscraper to a Moonbase to a hut in the middle of a desert in Australia! Project Cafe will allow the architect to create their worlds and for the combatants to create and choose from tons of weapons, making Inception possibly the coolest FPS on the console.

(edit: added more detail to the Inception segment)

Yeah, I originally made the Inception game idea for Generic Future Console, but then when Project Cafe came out I thought of tons of cool stuff that it could do, like building the levels via touchscreen, and altering physics while you’re in the dream. I originally thought the topscreen would show you asleep in one level and the touchscreen would show the lowest level that you were at, but I realized that would serve almost no purpose 😛 So, while I typed that up to pass the time before the conference, I realized that making your own weapons like Ghost Recon’s gunsmith and then being able to choose from dozens and doezens of your custom weapons would make it work much better. But you could only do that on the Wii U because I don’t think toggling through 25 guns would work well 😛

Also I tried to figure out if there was any way to make each level last longer than the ones above them, but no that’s pretty much impossible. So physics and gravity will be altered in dreams…. somehow? That’s the hard part. I know it would be insanely fun for the game to go into zero-gravity situations like in the movie, but because all 4 levels would be happening at the same speed, it wouldn’t work unless the game took a “snapshot” of whenever a major thing happened to the people who were asleep, and made that last in the level below for a certain period of time.

lol way too much detail 😛

So yeah I was just thiking one day about awesome Project Cafe games, and I actually thought up all 3 of these games at the exsact same time. The roleplaying was the last one I thought about in detail, but I put it first in here because it’s the one the least people would get excited about I think 😛

Lastly, the only way to effectively create a game based off of Homestuck, a comic on http://www.mspaintadventures.com/ , would be on Project Cafe, Single-player or multiplayer. In singleplayer, the player will be able to control the 4 kids, John, Rose, Dave, and Jade, and switch between who they are controlling at will. But you’ll control one kid on the touchscreen as the server player, manipulating the environment, and the client on the TV screen, fightin’ monsters and advancing through the gates. Of course this could be easily reversed, so the client plays like an old-school adventure game and the server plays with the control sticks; any type of setup with Project Cafe would be amazing.

Local Multiplayer-wise, each player will take control of a kid on their touchscreen, like 4 seperate games, but the maps, stats, grist, etc. will be on the TV for all to see. Of course if you’re playing online, you’ll get the TV screen because you’re the only one using it, and the stats, maps, etc. and now the captchalogue system will be on the touchscreen.

tl;dr: Homestuck is pretty much perfect for Project Cafe.

I hope you enjoyed these ideas because I enjoyed making them; I really want to play all 3!

Summer Projects: Two new Fan Fictions!


I’ve been doing some creative writing lately, so I’ve decided to write a couple fan fictions to try and beef up my skills a little.

My first one is . It’s the story of Jade Harley, and her quest to go through all seven gates, defeat her denizen, and face another threat, greater than anything she can possibly imagine- fate.

It’s not JUST fuel for my favorite crack ship though it was originally going to be a 3 chapter romance story. It has the same ending as my original idea though so that’s okay I guess?

The other fan fiction is

Project Cafe Idea: Using the 3DS as a controller?


http://boards.ign.com/nintendo_wii_lobby/b8270/201633357/r201645364/?statusId=PostReplySuccess

think that Nintendo will indeed implement the 3DS as a limited controller. The only reason it couldn’t be a full controller is the lack of a second control stick, but we don’t even know the specifics about the controller; there could be no buttons at all or something for all we know.

But it would be VERY wise feature 3DS connectivity. Think of it; Controllers are going to be above $50, maybe even $60. Even when the economy recovers, not that many people are going to want to spend that much money on over 2 controllers. Being able to use a handheld that you already own would be extremely beneficial, and it could even drive sales up for people that are on the fence about buying the 3DS, but want to buy it for its controller capabilities.

The Art of Video Games Exhibit


From March to September 2012, there will be an exhibit on video games at the Smithsonian! They are letting people vote for the 80 games that they will showcase, too! So go to http://www.artofvideogames.org/ and vote for Pikmin 2, both Paper Mario games, and Earthbound!~~~

http://www.artofvideogames.org/

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