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I don’t understand these Top Searches


Once again, the top searches on this site have been inspiring enough to make a post about:

will vance astro be in the movie

yuri furry

little mac ssb4 sprites sheet

black man with willy stuck in xbox 360

This is simply astounding. I know why the first one is a search result, the other two I have no idea, and the last one? Not even going to try to guess.

 

QUICK EDIT WOAH WAIT. “black man with willy stuck in xbox 360” was IN MY PREVIOUS ONE. That means, not only are people searching this on Google and finding my blog, they are doing it consistently for months at a time. This is horrifying.

2012-2015: Movies I’m Looking Forward To


There are a bunch of movies that are coming out that I want to see! I will detail them below, in order of release, and why I think they might be awesome. And if I remember, I’ll make an update a few months from now, adding new ones and commenting on how the movies actually turned out, if I saw them.

2012

October 26:

  • Cloud Atlas- It hasn’t gotten very good reviews, but I am a huge fan of time travel, alternate universes, generational gaps, and stuff like that. I’m thinking that I may enjoy it much more than critics, if only for that.

November 2 (My birthday!):

Wreck it Ralph- This is a given. Any video game fan ever will want to see this movie, and I am almost certain that it will live up to the hype. There’s a football game that night, so I won’t be able to see it on my actual birthday, but I will definitely see it as soon as I can on Saturday.

The Man with the Iron Fist: This movie looks like it’ll have some of the best fight scenes out of any movie for the rest of the year, and the soundtrack is already out (http://soultemplemusic.bandcamp.com/album/the-man-with-the-iron-fists-deluxe-ultra-pak) and is great.

November 9 (I will be in New York City this entire weekend, so I won’t be able to see any of these until later):

  • Skyfall: A new freakin’ James Bond movie! Can’t wait. I was impressed by Quantum of Solace, unlike some people, and I have high hopes for this one.
  • Lincoln: The trailer gave me chill bumps. Oh man this movie is going to be perfect. And oh man this movie is probably going to flop at the box office but win Best Picture.

November 21:

  • Rise of the Guardians: This movie will either be amazing and win Best Animated Picture or flop and be yet another forgotten Dreamworks film. I am hoping for the former, as it looks awesome.
  • Red Dawn: There’s no way this movie will be good, but it has Chris Hemsworth and freaking Josh Peck. I will definitely at least see this at the cheap theater.
  • Life of Pi: I saw the 5-minute preview for this movie before Prometheus back in June and this is definitely going to be one of those movies. The 3D is probably going to be amazing, too. (I am a fan of 3D movies when they are not terrible conversions, which basically means like two films a year, and then a couple good conversions like Avengers)

November 30:

Universal Solider: Day of Reckoning- Universal Soldier is back! Let’s see if this thing ends up being a decent action flick, because I love the premise. (Fun Fact: I always get this and Full Spectrum Warrior, a game by Pandemic Studios, mixed up.)

and luckily, there’s a break in December, with relatively few movies coming out for most of the month. This will mean that I can see maybe even most of these in theaters!

December 14:

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey- I don’t have to explain this.

December 25:

Django Unchained- A western movie plus a 70s Blaxploitation flick, directed by Quinten Tarantino, starring Jamie Foxx, Leonardo DiCaprio, and Samuel L. Jackson. I can find nothing to not be excited about in this.

2013

TBA:

  • Riddick: I always liked the Riddick series, especially Pitch Black. I actually didn’t even know that they had started filming the sequel yet, and apparently it’s already in post-production. That’s always good to hear.

February 14:

  • A Good Day to Die Hard- What better way to celebrate St. Valentine’s Day than a good helping of Die Hard?

March 1:

  • Jack the Giant Slayer- Could be good, though the delay concerns me, if it really was just for the special effects or not.

March 8:

  • Oz: The Great and Powerful- We’ll see about this one. I haven’t even seen a trailer yet.

March 29:

  • GI Joe: Retaliation- I know full and well how silly this movie is going to be, and I know full and well that I’m going to enjoy every second of it.

April 12:

  • Oblivion- Somewhat-Post-Apocalyptic Sci-Fi with Morgan Freeman and…. Tom Cruise…. As long as this isn’t some sort of allegory for Scientology, I think it might be pretty good. The City-in-the-clouds concept has always intrigued me, probably because of my rabid Star Wars fanboyism as a kid.

May 3:

  • Iron Man 3- The trailer just came out, and oh wow it looks amazing. But there is this very slight fear of mine that it could suck, and whoever made the trailer was simply very clever at editing. But this is one of those “Emotional Hero’s Journey” type stories, so it’s likely to actually be good, as long as they don’t take out the trademark Iron Man humor completely. I am not a fan of the Iron Patriot being in the movie, though. Nobody deserves to wear that suit besides Norman Osborn. The character makes the suit, not the other way around. I have confidence that it will be done well, though.

May 10:

  • The Great Gatsby- The book was dull, but it was a very good story. If the movie is done well, then it’ll help a whole new generation learn about how the American Dream is kind of stupid.

May 17:

  • Star Trek: Into Darkness- Star Trek 2 booyeah! The first film was one of the best movies of 2009, and I’ve been hyping the sequel ever since. The reboot series really seems to get it right, where much of Star Trek bores me, outside of The Next Generation. It being so much like Star Wars can’t hurt at all.

June 7:

  • After Earth- I have tepid interest in this film. On one hand, it has the Smith family and a bunch of sci-fi. On the other hand, it’s an M. Night Shyamalan movie…. We’ll see.

June 14:

  • The Man of Steel- Zack Snyder + Christopher Nolan + Superman = this could easily be a Best Picture contender, though people don’t seem to be incredibly hyped for it.

June 21:

  • World War Z- You know what? There haven’t been very many actual zombie movies lately (I am not even considering you, Resident Evil 5. There were like what, 50  zombies in that entire thing?). Strange, considering the craze in all other media, with Left 4 Dead and Walking Dead and stuff.  I dunno how this movie will play out, but it needs to be good to ensure the survival of the zombie genre, because we all know how close to dying it is. /sarcasm
  • Monsters University- C’mon, Pixar! You made a solid string of amazing movies from Ratatouille to Toy Story 3, and while Brave was good, it wasn’t Pixar Good. Make this a sequel worthy of being Pixar Good!

June 28:

Kick-Ass 2: It’s going to be good. Don’t worry. (Fun Fact: I am a Mark Millar Fan. I may be somewhat biased.)

July 3:

  • Lone Ranger- I feel like I’m being way too optimistic when I’m even considering this one to be good, but there’s always a chance that this isn’t another John Carter. And by that I mean it’s going to flop, because the target audience probably hasn’t even HEARD of the Lone Ranger.
  • Despicable Me 2: I can’t lie. The first one was a very good movie, and this may very well be just as good.

July 12:

  • Pacific Rim- Is this what happened to that Godzilla movie that Legendary Pictures was making at one time? No idea, but it has Kaiju, Mechas, and it reminds me of Battleship just enough that I’ll probably want to see it even if it’s bad, in hopes that it is just as corny as Battleship itself.

July 19:

  • RIPD- I am always optimistic about comic book adaptations, and though I don’t know very much at all about this besdies the premise, it does have some star power (Ryan Reynolds, Jeff Bridges, Kevin Bacon), so maybe it’ll hold up.

July 26:

  • The Wolverine- Yeah I know, I know. The chances of this getting higher than a 40% approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes are next to none, but Wolverine in Japan is just a really cool concept, and the Silver Samurai is an awesome villain. The less it connects to the rest of the franchise, the better, as not to overload on superheroes in 2013 before the insane amount coming in 2014.

August 2:

  • 300: Rise of an Empire- No Zack Snyder, and nothing to directly adapt like the original, but it could be good. Chances are it’ll be another Wrath of the Titans (or Clash of the Titans for that matter), but meh. I was hoping for Xerxes, myself.
  • Red 2- It’ll be a fun movie. It probably won’t be a runaway success, unless Smurfs 2 and The Wolverine AND 300-2 are all exceptionally horrible, but it could happen.

September 20:

  • Star Wars Episode II 3D- No idea why this is coming out in September instead of February like Star Wars releases usually are, but whatever. Star Wars is cool, though I was disappointed by Phantom Menace 3D for not incorporating any deleted scenes into the movie, even the ones that actually added to the film, or not improving the CGI whatsoever, so that it still looks like a 10-year old movie. I’m assuming there will be no changes to this, either, despite the fact Episode II has some of the coolest deleted scenes in the saga.

October 11:

  • Star Wars Episode III 3D- Like I said already. I’ll see it, but I really wish they did something other than make it 3D, even if the 3D is quite good for a conversion. There’s like, a 10-minute scene they cut out of the beginning just because it made the movie longer. But this is a re-release! They should add in all the cool stuff, even if Shaak Ti dies in the scene when canonically she doesn’t. And Quinlan Vos’s fake death? What about that thing? (that one would have to be cleverly edited into the Order 66 scene though as not to interrupt the score)

November 1:

  • Ender’s Game- There’s a movie of this coming out? Yeah I had no idea either. That’s something to look forward to!

November 8:

  • Thor: The Dark World- Make Mine Marvel. I loved the first Thor; this one better knock it out of the park, cosmic-wise, to prepare audiences for Guardians of the Galaxy, which comes out less than a year later.

December 13:

  • The Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug- Once again, I have to say nothing.

2014

TBA:

  • Phineas and Ferb- I’m assuming this’ll be the show’s send-off; there is little chance it’ll be any less awesome than the show itself.
  • Deadpool- I doubt this movie will actually come out in 2014, but if it does, I will be super hyped for it, for obvious reasons.
  • The Flash- Once again, I doubt this will actually release in 2014; the buildup to the Justice League movie isn’t going to be very organized, I don’t think, and Flash and Wonder Woman movies have been in development hell for decades now.
  • Green Lantern 2- The first movie was good fun, except that everyone seemed to hate it. I personally liked it, though if I had seen it when it first came out, I would have hated it since I thought it was going to be a space epic instead of “just” another superhero movie. I think they’ll do better this time.
  • Masters of the Universe- A movie ripe for nostalgia, and just long enough since Conan that everyone will have forgotten about it by the time it comes out.
  • Third Person- Yes it’s a romance movie, but it has 3 separate plots that somehow connect, one of which is between Liam Neeson and Olivia Wilde. They had me at Liam Neeson.
  • Journey 3: From the Earth to the Moon- Oh, The Rock. How you star in such amazing/horrible movies. I am confident that this will be a greatbad movie as well.

February 7:

  • Need For Speed- Hey look, a video game movie in development that isn’t going to have a release 6 months after it’s announced! That means it could… maybe actually be good? (nah)
  • Lego: The Piece of Resistance- An… actual… Lego movie? Woah. Featuring Batman and Superman… as actual characters? Woah. Already filming? Woah. What is up with this thing.

March 7:

  • Invertigo- Dude crash lands in New York City and creates a vortex where gravity is reversed. This is going to be interesting, hopefully.

March 28:

  • Noah- There hasn’t been one of these type movies since Passion of the Christ! Hopefully this will be an epic of… Biblical proportions. /booyeah

April 4-

  • Captain America: The Winter Solider- The Winter Solider story arc was amazing in the comics, and I fully expect it to be even better on film. And apprently The Falcon’s in it; whether it’s the normal or more-realistic Ultimate version, I don’t even know THEY know yet.

April 11:

  • Stretch Armstrong- …
  • Why the HELL does this exist, and why do I want to see it so much?

April 25:

  • Robopocalypse- Steven Spielberg + Robot Apocalypse. This means it might be awesome.

May 2:

  • The Amazing Spider-Man 2- Oh boy, this better be good. I am fully expecting a 2-part trilogy with the 2nd and 3rd movies, both of them about Norman Osborn and the Green Goblin, and if there is anything less than that, I will be so disappointed.

May 16:

  • Godzilla- Hey, didn’t this come out in 2013? Yeah there’s no way this can be better than Pacific Rim, but hey, it’s Godzilla.

May 23:

  • Dawn of the Planet of the Apes- Rise was a great movie; if the remake series continues all the way through the original timeline in chronological order (unlike the original series, which jumped around a bit sort of), I’m sure it’ll get pretty confusing, but it’ll be awesome nonetheless.

May 30:

  • The Good Dinosaur- An upcoming Disney movie about dinosaurs, if the meteor never hit. Interesting premise.

June 20:

  • How to Train Your Dragon 2- The animated series is very… ehh, but the original movie was good fun, and this will probably follow that trend.

July 18:

  • X-Men: Days of Future Past- If it includes Cable somehow so that he can be in Deadpool or Deadpool 2, I am sold. Otherwise, it could be good, but it could also suck. We’ll see.
  • Hobbit: There and Back Again- ‘Nuff Said. Though I am certain about one thing; one of these two movies is going to get moved back or forward. Two juggernauts at once usually never works out well, at least for all the other movies in the next 3 weeks.

August 1:

  • Guardians of the Galaxy- Please include Vance Astro. That’s all that matters. Vance Astrooooooooo

After that:

  • Avatar 2: In Space! oh wait. Underwater!
  • Hulk 2: Can Mark Ruffalo stand on his own as The Hulk? I don’t know. Apparently following Planet Hulk, even though Hulk in Avengers was incredibly likeable compared to any other incarnation ever. The only way I see it happening is if he is accidentally stranded at the end of Avengers 2 while they are in space or something.
  • Angry Birds: If Angry Birds is even relevant in 2015, I will definitely see this just to see how this is even possible.
  • Avengers 2 and Justice League- DC of course planned this on purpose, but 2015 will be the showdown of the titans. Almost literally, if Justice League follows the New 52’s opening story arc and uses Darkseid. Apparently, Justice League will use Green Lantern, The Flash, and Man of Steel, but it can’t just reboot Batman for money, less than 5 years later. That’s be horrid. Unless Blake is the new Batman. Then it’s cool…… I guess…….
  • Ant-Man: Edgar Wright, you are amazing, and you need to make more amazing things faster. I’m disappointed this has become a Phase 3 movie instead of having 3 Marvel Studios movies in 2014 (along with the 3 other Marvel movies set for 2014, and the 2 DC ones…. ok so maybe delaying it was good….), but it’s going to be so so good.

That was really long and took several hours. I feel like I just went through the future, from next week all the way to 3 years from now. |_|

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